


Sentient

by Aleksa_writes



Series: Android Chronicles [2]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Android AU, M/M, Ok ocasional porn, Porn with Feelings, man i don't even know, maybe there is porn, plenty of pain in here, really I don't know, robots in love, that's pretty much it, the pain continues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-05-15 02:33:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 39,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5767966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aleksa_writes/pseuds/Aleksa_writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wonshik looks Hakyeon sitting on the couch, however instead of answering, he asks again, “Why are you here, Sunghyuk-ah?” he feels the muscles of his shoulder stiff and hard, it’s a nuisance he will have to work with for a while longer, until he finishes Hongbin’s new processor.<br/>“Ok, straight to business.” Sanghyuk says, hands up, looking at him not slightly shaken, or sleepy taken what time is it. “Just trying to be conversational, y’know.”<br/>“Sorry,” Wonshik looks apologetic, he is not all that keen of rudeness but he has to wait until Hakyeon wakes up before going to sleep himself, and five nights up in a row are a rough ride, even for him. “Whatcha need?”<br/>Sanghyuk crosses his arms, looks quietly at him for a second, pondering if he should touch any subject with the things as they are now. Old age must truly suck, and Wonshik even has the white hair to match. “It’s finished.” he mentions, eventually, Wonshik is almost drowsing off by the time Sanghyuk finally decides to state his business. “He’s done.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hakyeon is, at his own rhythm, getting better from the sulking and mopping around he went through for not being able to catch “Mr.eight” (as Jaehwan insists to call him) before he is gone without a trace, and Wonshik tries to be of help as much as he can. He convinces himself that Taekwoon has nothing to do with that ocurence. It  _was_ a bad photograph. _Damn that Jaehwanie and his shaking hands._

Wonshik's father came by and took Granny with them, the moment the heard about Wonshik's little move and consequential fuck ups, they-... well, his father decided to take her away for a few weeks,  _ no mom, Hakyeon will stay, it's only a few weeks, he will be just fine.  _

Hakyeon is dealing very poorly with her absence, but says nothing and focus his attention on Wonshik and Hongbin instead, even if none of them are quite comfortable with it. They would survive, and the food is quite good, if Wonshik may have his say in this.

It's a slow Thursday night,  three knocks on the door, Wonshik stiffs and checks his cell before getting up and walking to the door.

“Let me in, hyung! It's cold as fuck in here!” he hear from the other side, echoing in the empty front yard.

_ Sanghyuk. _

Thank goodness.

Wonshik opens the door, but Hakyeon does not move from his spot on the couch, wearing some light cardigan as not to force his heating systems too much, his arm panel is open and he has a cable connected to one silver box that rests over the table. Looks like a blood transfusion, but it's probably an offline update. If anything, he is not even properly awake, his battery got too low and he is now being almost reanimated.

“What are you doing here, Hyuk?” He asks, sitting again and Sanghyuk does the same, he needs no invitation, and sniffles once, nose and ears red before he starts talking.

“Heard you got back to the Central… once again.” He rubs his hands against his pants, bad day to forget his gloves.

Wonshik offers a noncommittal noise as a response, and Hyuk hums back at him. “Well I didn't came down here to say I’m happy for you.” he looks briefly at Hakyeon on the couch, the update made him slow and his eyes are heavy, he feels like going on standby. “Is he ok?” 

It’s not the first time Sanghyuk comes in the middle of the night, says a bunch of nothing and then leaves, actually he does that a lot, maybe because he enjoys Hakyeon’s food, but that’s beside the point.

Wonshik looks Hakyeon sitting on the couch, however instead of answering, he asks again, “Why are you here, Sunghyuk-ah?” he feels the muscles of his shoulder stiff and hard, it’s a nuisance he will have to work with for a while longer, until he finishes Hongbin’s new processor.

“Ok, straight to business.” Sanghyuk says, hands up, looking at him in not slightly shaken, or sleepy taken what time is it “Just trying to be conversational, y’know.” 

“Sorry,” Wonshik looks apologetic, he is not all that keen of rudeness, but he has to wait until Hakyeon wakes up before going to sleep himself, five nights up in a row are a rough ride, even for him. “Whatcha need?”

Sanghyuk crosses his arms, looks quietly at him for a second, pondering if he should touch any subject with the things as they are now. Old age must truly suck, and Wonshik even has the white hair to match. “It’s finished.” he mentions, eventually, Wonshik is almost drowsing off by the time Sanghyuk finally decides to state his business. “He’s done.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

Next morning comes and Hakyeon feels like he stored stones, or bricks… or lead, inside the empty space on his chest, because everything feels slow and heavy and he will  _ never  _  forget about recharging, ever again.

He leaves his room dragging his feet over the synthetic marble floor, today is cleaning day, a week has passed since the  _ “mr. eight incident”   _ but Hakyeon still can’t believe he had missed important chances like this. He hears Wonshik’s voice downstairs, and why in Lords name is he awake? Visits? No, Wonshik would not get off bed at... What time is now? 8 a.m? Yeah, 8 a.m. for visits, not even his own parents. Must be important, then. Hakyeon is all kinds of messed up right now, his hair looks like a bird’s nest, his clothes are crumpled and his eyes are dull like glass beads… Maybe not the best form for important visits. He looks like hangovers on a street bench on a week day.

But again, Wonshik doesn’t consider visits all that important, unless we are talking about someone he cares about… Did Granny came back?! 

“Granny?! Granny is that-”

Bottle of cleaning and washcloth at hand, Hakyeon stomps down the stairs, barefooted and messed up, his eyes fall first on Wonshik smiling with a cup of coffee in hand and then the other couch… Oh... Oh, no.

The bottle slips from his hand and falls to the floor, shattering in thousands of small pieces, oily and smelling like flowers, Hakyeon has to lean against the wall, like a punch in the stomach that took all the air he wouldn’t use anyway from the lungs he doesn’t have as well.

_ Smooth, Hakyeon, very smooth. _

“Morning, hyung.” Wonshik says casually, sipping his coffee to hide his amused smirk.

Hakyeon feels his mouth opening, then closing, then opening again, pieces of half understandable phrases stuck on his throat. 

“I- I have to clean this up hold on!” and up the stairs, inside his room, ignoring as Hongbin calls for him to say he can clean that himself. Twenty seconds pass and there is a knock on the door, Hakyeon is more than a little startled.

Wonshik’s voice filters through the door as he says. “He’s back, but stay cool or you’ll scare him, ok? He doesn’t remember much about the past. His model is the newest there is, and his old files were mostly not compatible, he destroyed too much information himself before the lockdown, you’ll have to play nice.”

Hakyeon nods even if Wonshik is not there to see, and gets up, brushes his hair, gets a closed cleaner bottle on the nightstand, cleans himself up with cold hands, shaking fingers, and gets dressed. Do this clothes make sense? Yes? Is he trying too hard?

Time to be the grown up he is proud of being.

He goes down again, slower this time, he finds Taekwoon by the stairs, picking the pieces of glass he had broken in the first place, Hongbin fussing about how he should let him clean instead. He looks up from the shards as Hakyeon approaches and kneels beside him, helping him pick the glass pieces. “I’m sorry. I got distracted.” he is capable of keeping his voice stable, and for that, he will be glad forever.

“Be carefull.” he hear that soft voice, Taekwoon’s voice, and shudders in silence, if Taekwoon notices something, he doesn’t ask.

“I’m Hakyeon, by the way.” he smiles, cheerfull and kind.  _ Play it nice _ , he repeats for himself, hands full of glass pieces.

“I know.” he gets up and walks to the kitchen with his handful of glass pieces to throw them out, Hakyeon follows suit to do the same, besides he has to get a cleaning rag.

“You do?” he sound a bit wishful but that’s perceptible only for Hongbin, who is silently watching them as they speak.

“Wonshik told me you are Mrs. Kim droid.” he sounds soft and secretive as always, and looks exactly the same as before. From the long fingers to the small mouth to the messy black hair. Exactly the same.

Except now he is real, he is there, he is…  _ tangible. _

Hakyeon feels his breath catching in his throat and he reaches out his hand to touch his new companion’s arm, hidden under a blue sweater that looks so comfortable…

The moment he touches his arm is the moment Taekwoon turns suddenly and grabs his wrist, looking very serious, before muttering a quick “Sorry.” and releasing him again, looking down as he snatches the rag from Hakyeon’s hands in one fluid motion and excusing himself from the kitchen like he's running away.

Warm… warm and soft. Much like his voice, Taekwoon’s hand was also very warm, and very soft, even if he avoided Hakyeon’s touch as if burned. Hakyeon holds his wrist close to his chest and decides that playing it nice is hard.

Very hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me give you a little domestic love so you can forget the previous pain


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which Hakyeon deals with feels

it’s 1 p.m of the first day.

Taekwoon sits at the kitchen, watching as Hakyeon cooks, he can almost physically _feel_ Taekwoon’s stare on his back, but focus, he doesn’t want to burn down the house. Wonshik's barely woke up and it’s too useless to stop any fires right now.

“You need help?” Taekwoon asks, because that’s why he is sitting here in the first place.

Hakyeon shakes his head but says nothing, he feels a lump in his throat, and every time Taekwoon says anything, it get’s worse. He hears the sound of Taekwoon’s chair scraping on the kitchen floor, but doesn’t look back.

He hears the sound of Taekwoon’s steps, but doesn’t look back.

He hears Taekwoon’s voice asking if he is sure about that, right over his shoulder, and he drops the knife.

Cuts himself.

Curses.

Taekwoon looks somewhat concerned about the sudden turn of events. Maybe Hakyeon has some defect on his motor systems? Maybe his tendons are weak due to overuse? It’s not normal to drop things like that.

“Are you ok?” Taekwoon asks, and Hakyeon is still disoriented, arms moving around as he turns off the every cooking device currently working, leaves the knife in the sink and runs a hand through his hair.

“Yeah. Fine.” he's smiling when he say that but Taekwoon is not totally convinced, but he is not one to push so he’ll let him be. He merely walks out to wake Wonshik from his half-slumber once and for all. Hakyeon rests all his weight on the counter, takes a deep breath, his face warm, his hands cold.

He would not have dropped anything had he not felt Taekwoon’s breath too close from his neck, too close for comfort, too _far_ for comfort…

Why is it always warm?

 

~+~

 

Hakyeon sits by the table with Wonshik as he takes yet another cup of coffee and works on some blueprints, white pencil in hand. “This is bad for you, you know?” he complains once again, and Wonshik spares him a glance and a noncommittal noise, for all it’s worth. “I mean it, you’ll get yourself some gastritis if you keep this shit up.”

It’s already dark, 3 a.m last time he checked.

Wonshik makes a point by taking one more sip of his lukewarm coffee and Hakyeon makes a face. “Fine. Do what you want. But don’t cry when you get some ugly rashes on your stomach or something.” he gets up and Wonshik makes another noncommittal noise, white pencil twirling between his fingers as he tries to make sense of something he just drew.

“So how are you and Taekwoon, hyung?” he doesn’t look up from his paper, or his coffee, but it’s enough to make Hakyeon’s vexed face dissolve into one of surprise.

“We’re… Fine, I guess.” he taps his fingers over the glass table and Wonshik glances briefly at him before lowering his gaze once again.

When Wonshik speaks again, he sounds amused. “Hongbin said you almost cut off your own finger because he got too close.” Wonshik smirks mischievously, and Hakyeon’s vexed face is back in place.

Hakyeon huffs once before answering. “That is a blatant lie! I may have cut myself, but it was not nearly as bad as to cut off my finger. That kid I _swear._ ”

Wonshik takes one deep breath but falls silent once he hears steps down the hall, Taekwoon enters the room, stops on his tracks as he sees both, Hakyeon _and_ Wonshik, staring at him in silence as he sets foot inside. “Am I interrupting something?” he blinks once, face even.

“No. I was just going to sleep.” Hakyeons gets up and smiles, beating some imaginary dust of his pants before walking to the door.

Taekwoon walks in and Wonshik lowers his gaze once more. “Good night, Hakyeon.” Taekwoon is very polite, even is his voice is something barely above whisper.

Hakyeon stops for a second, nods and offers a quick _you too_ before going upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my friend said I should stop posting my chapters this fast and wait until after at least one comment, I'll consider it


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which there is plotting and date plans

This morning Hakyeon slept in, he has to work tonight, and Wonshik left early to meet with someone, somewhere, blueprints in hand, looking far more decent than he has on the last few days.

He even shaved, man this is really something.

Downstairs he can hear the sound of Hongbin's cheery voice as he says something about some old buildings near section 14. As per usual, Hakyeon fixes his hair and puts some pants on before going down; Hongbin leaves his cameras turned away as he does so, like he does every morning, will keep doing so until Hakyeon yells.  “I’m decent, you can turn the cameras now.” he rubs his eyes on his way to the bathroom, padding barefooted onto the cold floor, a gesture of context, not necessity.

Taekwoon’s door is closed, but he knows he is no longer inside, Taekwoon always goes to sleep way after him, and always gets up before he does. His batteries are different, apparently.

Also he has no need to recharge everyday, he can do so every two or three days. Hakyeon feels Sanghyuk’s hand in all that. 

“Taekwoon can I ask you something?” He watches Taekwoon holding the cat on his lap, as he goes downstairs, smiling despite himself.

“Yes.” Taekwoon glances at him before returning his attention back to the cat, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as the cat starts purring.

“Did you went to a bar? A few weeks ago, at night?” he asks quietly, sitting on the opposite couch, giving his companion some… space.

“I guess I did.” He looks at Hakyeon across from him. 

Of course it was him, stupid question. “Why were you there?”  _ Better. _

Taekwoon answer came almost immediately. “Testing my localization engines.”

Oh.

_ Oh. _

“Ah,” Hakyeon keeps messing with his pants decorations, which happened to be close to his nails, unfortunately. “I see.”

Taekwoon watches his nervous chuckles intently. “Why, hyung?” 

Hakyeon in on his way to choke over “hyung” and give a proper answer when Wonshik walks in again, loud about how hungry he is, asking if there is any chicken left from the day before, leaving his things along the way, a trail of messiness… like a slug, a messy slug. Hongbin is complaining in no time. He just organized this room!  _ Yah! Wonshik-ah don’t ignore me! _

When Wonshik returns, Hongbin is harmlessly slapping his face with his holographic hands, passing through Wonshik's head like a ghost. and Wonshik is unperturbed as a saint as he plops down besides Hakyeon. “You gonna work today, hyung?” he turns to looks at Hakyeon who happens to understand Hongbin frustrations, they exchange looks before Hakyeon provides an answer.

“Yeah.” he nods, looking at the plate Wonshik is carrying. “Bin-ah, go clean under Wonshik’s bed.” he looks up at Hongbin and Wonshik chokes on his food.

Hongbin smiles one  _ yes hyung  _ and vanishes, Wonshik doesn’t even bother to look at Hakyeon, storming to his room instead, Hakyeon can hear him yelling. “No! You come back here with this vacuum cleaner, Hongbin!”

Hakyeon takes the plate and puts it back in the kitchen. Once he gets back, he sees Taekwoon slightly amused on the other couch and stops. The faint yelling coming from Wonshik’s room is not exactly ambient music but it’s better than that experimental shit Hongbin chooses from time to time.

“Taekwoon, you know I knew you… right? When you were,” he recollects his words once Taekwoon’s eyes turn to him with full attention. “A software.”

Taekwoon does not seem shocked, but his eyes are a little more attentive now. “You did?” his voice stays the same.

It’s not that Hakyeon is trying to push anything, he just wants them to be out in the clear. “I did. I have an empty folder with your name on my head” he smiled, a little sad. It was meant to be a joke, but...

Taekwoon gives him a knowing look. “It must have been hard. Having me inside your head all the time.”

_ It’s not like you already wasn’t before.  _ “Not really. You were very quiet, most of the time.”

Taekwoon nods and Hakyeon smiles, hands locked between his knees to stop himself from reaching out to him. “Why would you let me connect?” Taekwoon seems to be curious about his past self, but doesn’t want to impose his questions.

“I…” Hakyeon is caught in one of those moment where he can say two things, both are the truth, but one is what he should say, and the other is what he  _ wants  _ to say. “Wanted to let you see through my eyes, since you were confined inside the house all the time...” he said what he should, in the end.

The smile that Taekwoon offers is a small, but gentle one. “You’re nice.” he comments, and Hakyeon starts to dismiss the subject to stop the heat he feels rising on his neck. 

_ Godammit Hakyeon, keep it together!  _

“I must have been happy, then.” Taekwoon comments absentmindedly, still petting the cat. 

Hakyeon does not have the heart to say that maybe he hasn’t.

Because of him.

That he suffocated him so much he got to the conclusion that killing himself was the only available option, the only thing that would bring Hakyeon peace.

Suddenly he feels like there is no air and gets up, Taekwoon looks at him a bit surprised, the cat stirs in his lap. “I must get ready for work.” he walks up so fast Taekwoon keeps looking at the stairs for some time before the sound of something breaking and Wonshik stream of curses afterwards brings him back to the present.

Enough of this nonsense. He gets up, regretful about waking the cat, and stalks to Wonshik’s room to stop this cat fight between him and Hongbin.

Hakyeon left home that day with the sight of Wonshik being dragged away from his own room kicking and screaming because Taekwoon mentions that  _ “Me and Hongbin are going to clean your room, sit outside.” _

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I have no idea of how does one play a game of Risk

Hakyeon goes back in the middle of the night, the house is dead quiet, he feels sore after the night, the movement on the bar was not all that overbearing, he had time to dance from time to time, and he told Jaehwan about Mr.Eight, ( _It’s Taekwoon, Jaehwan, stop it._ ) though his only comment was complaining about how fast they went to the ‘living together’ status when they never even spoke.

The first thing to greet him in his arrival is Wonshik, sitting on the couch with a stack of papers in hand, apparently, the situation from earlier is under control now, he just prays that the coffee in Wonshik’s hand was not made by himself, the last time he tried to brew some coffee, it turned out tasting like the blood of satan’s offspring (according to Wonshik himself, which was rather sad).

“Who did the coffee?” he asks leaving his shoes at the door, padding barefooted on the tiled floor to sit beside Wonshik and his offending stack of paper. 

“Taekwoon-hyung.” he says, smelling the coffee with a content smile. Hakyeon hums and checks his inners systems, his battery, his connection devices. “How was work?” Wonshik sets the mug on the table, tearing his eyes from his never-ending paper pile.

Hakyeon takes one deep breath, deflating against the couch. “Fine, had a lot of work but I even danced a little.” He closes his eyes, he has 30% of his battery left, he will get up in a minute. 

Really.

He will.

“He and Hongbin raided my room today.” he groaned, mouth close to the brim of his mug.

Wonshik always had this thing. this thing that made him hate people sorting through his stuff, he would mumble about not finding things for days on end, even if the coffee had him pacified for now.

“I cleaned that mess.” Hongbin says, surging from one corner and successfully making Hakyeon jump in his seat. “How ungrateful of you, hyung.”

The important stack of paper seemed to be forgotten over the table, Wonshik complaining out loud about how he got Taekwoon to do his dirty work and drag him out his own room, which Hongbin responded with a roll of his eyes and a snort. 

Taekwoon materializes in the kitchen’s door, looks at them with his mildly judgemental stare. “Stop it, it’s late. The neighbors don’t deserve all this noise.”

Hakyeon smiles despite himself. Wonshik and Hongbin exchange looks.

“Yeah, I’ll go to sleep now. Good night to y’all.” Wonshik says and gets up, leaving the obnoxious stack of paper on the table. Hakyeon lets him be, for now.

Taekwoon sits on the couch in front of him, organizing the papers Wonshik left behind. Hongbin bids them good night too quickly to look natural.

Hakyeon sits decently again. “Leave it, he’ll complain again if you touch it.”  Hakyeon keeps his eyes in one of Hongbin’s cameras, he sees as the cameras quietly spins in its support so it doesn’t face him anymore. Hakyeon squints his eyes for a second. What the hell are they doing? He and Wonshik must have something in mind to justify this nonsense. He turns his gaze back to Taekwoon to see that he gave up on the papers as instructed, and now stared at them with mild annoyance.

_ Endearing. _

When their eyes cross is brief and Hakyeon expects something like white sparks but gets none of it, only a tiny flash of awkwardness in Taekwoon’s eyes before he lowers his gaze. 

He mercifully ends this moment by announcing he will go to his room and recharge. Taekwoon bids him good night and he nods in silence, quietly retributing Taekwoon’s politeness. The door closes behind him and he calls Hongbin immediately, connecting the white cable on his neck  at the energy panel beside the bed. “What are you and  Wonshik plotting, Bin-ah?” he asks to no one in particular. 

Hongbin’s cameras turn to him shyly. “What are you talking about, hyung?” he sounds cheery, that’s as good as admitting he's guilty. “You should sleep, you know? Is bad for your battery to be functioning while recharging.”

“Don’t think this conversation is over, Hongbin. I don’t like this ideas you and Wonshikie come up with.” he complains, wiggling into bed and turning off the lights.

“All we do is because we love you, hyung.” 

Love can damage, Hakyeon knows this much.

He fall asleep with the sound of Taekwoon coming upstairs.

 

~+~

 

The next morning he wakes up to Taekwoon sitting on the edge of his bed. So he does what any other adult would do in the same situation. 

He gasps.

And falls from the bed.

It hurts, yes, but first things first. “What are you doing here?!” so much effort just to sit down without hitting his head on the nightstand.

“Hongbinnie asked me to wake you up.” Taekwoon says, and he doesn’t even try to conceal the amusement in his face as Hakyeon drops the table lamp. “You look very much awake now.” the way he smiles make Hakyeon’s chest make this extreme blindfolded backflip… yeah.

_ Smooth Hakyeon, always smooth. _

If this works as any kind of comfort, at least his hair is under control today.

Taekwoon rises to his feet and watches as Hakyeon clumsily does the same. “Wonshik is out today, Hongbin want to play games in the living room. Go down once you’re ready.”

Hongbin has something in mind, Hakyeon simply  _ knows  _ it. Probably some matchmaking mission with Wonshik to get Taekwoon into his personal space, which is not bad, but he never needed help to get his men, thank you very much.

He wears something inconspicuous because he does not want to give Hongbin any leverage in this game ideas, however, he does enjoys games, so it may be fun... Maybe. The thing is, he never saw Hongbin suggesting games before, which is a problem in itself, since he decided to start doing so  _ now _ . 

“What game is that?” Hakyeon asks in the midst of pushing his shirt down and looking presentable, on his way downstairs.

Taekwoon is sprawled on an armchair, messing around with one of the cat’s toys. Taekwoon glances up at him, and before Hongbin formulates his next sentence, Hakyeon is saying. “Taekwoon let’s go out, tonight.”

Hongbin turns, but not a normal turn, a full on body twist that expresses shock and confusion. He would have hurt himself if he had a body. Great thing he doesn’t. 

Taekwoon nods, looking a bit surprised, but otherwise everything is fine, Hakyeon smiles and puts both hands on his hips. 

_ Bet you didn’t see that one coming, Hongbin.  _

“I’m in the mood for playing Risk, are you up for the challenge?” Hakyeon asks, looking at Taekwoon, but the grin that graces Taekwoon’s lips is not a gentle, that right there, is the spark of a competition rising inside him like flames. 

“Gonna wipe the floor with you.” Hakyeon teases in a singsong voice, and Hongbin sits, projecting the board over the table, somehow this prospect may turn better than what he had in mind.

Maybe. 

“I very much would like to see you try.” Taekwoon answers, and his voice does not sounds delicate, does not sound warm, it sounds like challenge, sounds like fire and Hakyeon’s skin prickle under his clothes.

_ Oh, me too. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which I mend my mistakes by posting an actual new chapter


	6. Chapter 6

Hongbin does not even try to interfere in this game, Hakyeon taps his finger over the table to place his armies and Taekwoon gives him a look. Hakyeon’s best excuse of an answer is a smug smirk, when Taekwoon rolls his his number on the randomizer and pulls the card, he offer one equally smug smirk of his own.

Are they flirting?

This looks like flirting.

This is some lame flirting, right here.

But it’s better like this, Hongbin could not handle them  _ actually  _ flirting.

Wonshik arrives by the time Hakyeon manages to conquer Asia, and that would be fine if he hasn’t said. “Told you I’d wipe the floor with you.” that does the trick, that makes Taekwoon's entire expression close up in this deep angry frown.

Hongbin gives Wonshik this look as he approaches and Taekwoon looks downright murderous, this may not be a good thing.

It’s not that Hakyeon is trying to shed destruction over this land, and he is not normally a little shit about games, really; it’s just that you see, he does not enjoy being toyed with, even if the reason behind this toying is love, so he is harmlessly demonstrating that if they try to push Taekwoon, well… things happen. Funny thing is, taking Taekwoon’s look just a while ago, he is just the same; even if he is, by all means, playing seriously. He does not seem to know about Hongbin’s intentions, but he noticed something was off, so he is playing it off with Hakyeon, letting Hakyeon be a little shit and looking as murderous as he can.

Under normal circumstances, Hakyeon would be positively scared, but now? Now he is just thrilled. Well, he would be, if the power wasn’t suddenly of, and they were now, in this room, lighted solely by Hongbin pinkish light. Hakyeon shots him a dirty look, and Hongbin looks defensive. 

“I swear it wasn’t me, hyung!” his eyes are far too open to be a lie.

He hears Wonshik yelling from his room. “Sorry! I was just testing Hongbin’s new processor!” 

Hongbin’s processor is independent and doesn’t need no external source of energy, fuelled by the sun's radiation. 

_ This man is a liar. _

Hakyeon and Taekwoon exchange looks over the empty table, Taekwoon is leaning back to rest on his hands, Hakyeon gets up looking down at Taekwoon sitting on the floor, Taekwoon sustain his stare with little effort, until eventually Hakyeon is the one who has to look away. Breathing in, walking up to Wonshik’s room in order to work down all that anxious energy with accusations and sarcasm. 

“You and that pink little manipulative flower boy have been plotting to get me into Taekwoon’s pants, haven’t you?” he says, banging the door behind himself, and he surely hopes Taekwoon hasn’t heard his words, but he has to make a point in here.

To be fair, Wonshik was in fact working in Hongbin’s new processor. “Oh my god, hyung.” Wonshik is far more shocked by Hakyeon’s choice of words than his invasion.

And this room is so clean. Woah.

“Kim Wonshik I don’t like being toyed with.” he gets in proper offended stance, hands on his hips, tapping feet, annoyed expression. 

Yes.

Convincing.

“We would never do that.” Wonshik has the decency of looking alarmed. Good, he should.

Hakyeon paces around, he is not all that angry, in fact, he is doing this only to prevent any further attempts on matchmaking. Which wasn’t all that bad of a wish, he would always hate this sensation of not having control over his own destiny, had enough of that in the past.

One can say that Hakyeon became control-obsessed.

Ok, time to struck a serious face in here. “I want you to stop. I don’t even want you know what you had in mind, just stop.”

True to his good nature, Wonshik nods because really, he never wants to cause trouble, and Hakyeon knows that just like him, Wonshik still holds his guilt about Taekwoon close to his heart at all times, and chooses to ignore it just like Hakyeon because it’s not something to be touched after all this years.

Leaving this scar out in the open won’t bring them any good.

None of them could maneuver this very well, so ignorance was the best solution for everyone involved.

“Good.” Hakyeon smiles once again, not a trace of the seriousness from before, Wonshik gives a tired smile of his own, and then Hakyeon is leaving, asking Taekwoon if he wants to change his clothes before they go, but he doesn’t.

Great.

They go out and Hongbin is still in the same spot in the middle of the room, looking a little dazed after all that.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> about dates and pain

Hakyeon ponders if taking Taekwoon to Jaehwan’s bar is too much, and it’s not only because they certainly had seen each other there (or at least Taekwoon saw him) maybe if they should go somewhere else.

Many would think that for droids life was too full of rules, but that was not the case. Hakyeon himself, in all his self restrain and morals had one or two encounters with opportunities to go and seek some illegal entertainment.

He never claimed to be a saint, anyway. 

But there’s this thing about Taekwoon now… He does not carry himself as a normal droid would, but Hakyeon thinks that this may be a consequence of being created by Sanghyuk and not the Central, made him wonder if he was bound by the same protocols he was.

Was he even registered? 

Had he a serial number? A bar code? This questions seemed a bit personal, so Hakyeon just keeps his doubts for himself, even through the long silence that stretched between them.

“Wonshik said you are a new model.” he offered, both, to break the silence and because he really wanted to know.

Taekwoon glanced at his companion, hands still in his pockets, nods once as they walk out of the subway.

The night was as chilly as the previous one, and Hakyeon tugs at his coat, he could see Taekwoon’s breath clearly in this weather. He stops under a lamppost and looks up at Taekwoon. Was he always this tall? 

“Where do you want to go?” he smiles through his scarf, hands in his pockets.

Taekwoon shrugs once. “You decide.”

This area is vastly known for it’s night clubs, restaurants and dark alleys. But Taekwoon does not strike him as the type that would enjoy none... There is a store some blocks away that sells expansions, it’s a night cafe and also a place to go when the bustling of the clubs sounds like too much. Taekwoon is looking at him silently, not pushing, nor rushing. Just looking.

“I know a place.” Hakyeon says, taking his arm and pulling him. Taekwoon is not that keen of the contact, but allows it for the time being. He certainly does not want to get lost tonight.

He allows Hakyeon to lead the way.

 

**~+~**

 

Taekwoon is a good listener, he sits with Hakyeon and hears him talking about the last few years without him,  Hakyeon spins the menu in his hands, the place is not too crowded, and the dim light makes Hakyeon feel like they are exchanging secrets, even if he is the one doing most of the talking.

“Why a cafe if we don’t eat?” Taekwoon question is not entirely unexpected, after all a cafe made for droids is questionable in its reasons, but the knowing smile in Hakyeon’s face suggests he knows something Taekwoon doesn’t.

“Well,” he opens the menu over the table and Taekwoon turns his head to read even if he had his own menu right under his folded arms, on his side of the table. “Because this is not just any cafe.”

Taekwoon opens the menu with one hand, humming silently, going through a variety of small disposable and reusable drives, that had temporary and long lasting effects, and came, not surprisingly, in plates, with little stickers that described their function. He hums, more an acknowledgement than any other thing. He was still wondering what some of them did when Hakyeon orders them both  _ drinks _ .

Taekwoon raises his eyes almost immediately. “I don’t drink.” he closes the menu and folds his arms over it again.

“Of course you don’t, droids can’t drink.” he looks absolutely gleeful. 

Before Taekwoon can offer a retort of some kind, even if he had no intention of doing so, two small plates come, one for each, and they have a small golden squares inside, with a small sticker defining wish drink they should be. Hakyeon open his wrist panel and Taekwoon looks at the cube with something a little less intense than curiosity. Hakyeon plugs the square on his arm, and it looks weird, him having this tiny golden square connected to his arm like he just stabbed himself with it. But it’s… discreet, it looks like an accessory or something akin.

Taekwoon watches him with careful eyes. Hakyeon chuckles lightly. “What?” he observes as Taekwoon’s gaze fall to the small square, taking it in his hands.

His voice sounds carefull when he speaks again. “What does this do?” 

Hakyeon sighs, typical of Taekwoon to be so cautious. “It simulates the feeling of an alcoholic beverage when absorbed by humans.” he blinks quietly, resting his head on his hand.

Taekwoon fails to understand why would anyone want to get intoxicated if there is not even the taste associated with the beverage. It's just stupid.

“So you are trying to get me drunk.” his eyes scan the small square between his fingers.

Hakyeon all but chuckles, leaning in. “Scared?” 

Taekwoon’s answer is plugging the small square on his arm and rest his hands over the table again. “Happy?” he asks, arching his eyebrow mockingly.

“You used to ask me this all the time.” Hakyeon says, spinning the plate over the table with one hand, head with propped onto the other. “Are you pleased? Do you need help? Do you need something?” he intoned slowly, his voice even, much like Taekwoon would do in the past.

Taekwoon rests his back on the seat, hands poised over his legs. Hakyeon takes his silence as an invitation to keep talking, as always. “You may think I’m saying it was a nuisance but… In all honesty I always enjoyed. I’m very selfish, you know.” his smile is a tired one, and Taekwoon tilts his head, very discreetly, to one side.

“You also always enjoyed scanning the cat, seeing if it was healthy. You used to download songs to play as me and Granny baked.” the red light on the square blinked and Hakyeon removed it from his arm, sighing, maybe he’ll need another one of these.

Taekwoon speaks slowly, as if he was trying to convince himself of what Hakyeon just said. “I can’t imagine that.”

“Well, I don’t need to, I have memories.” he asks for another one, whiskey this time. Taekwoon watches him intently for a while as he looks as his ‘drink’ is brought to him in yet another plate. “But let’s stop with the sad stories.” At this point Hakyeon feels just a little light headed. It’s not the first time he tried any of this, he had almost six years to find good ways to keep his mind at bay.  “I noticed you don’t have any visible junctures.” he is trying to be casual, but Taekwoon looks at him like he had just said he likes to burn people's houses for sport.

The shock is short-lived, and Taekwoon is soon back to stability. “Yeah.” he disconnects the small square in his wrist and his eyes look… Different, not too different, Taekwoon’s composure in somewhat a constant, he only seems more… Unguarded. 

“Do you want another one?” Hakyeon can’t help but feel like he is currently offering him drugs, but that is not the main point of selling these, they are recreational, but not meant to compromise any default setting or prevent the droid to perform any of his responsibilities, they are meant to be shared in business negotiations or to ease the droid system back into relaxation. 

This little chips offer an immense range of effects possibilities, which don’t include only alcohol, but also more storage space, some induce sleep, some heighten senses, some are…. for aphrodisiac purposes. 

The point is, they have all kinds of functions, to help the droid to cope with their functions, and can be consumed on the cafe or at home, by a little rent fee and a quick scan of the droid’s bar code. 

Hakyeon is only a little unstable and had some issues to bury.

“No, thank you.” Taekwoon pushed the plate a little with his fingers, and soon enough, a waitress is coming to take it away.

Hakyeon hums softly, like he is trying to avoid a subject and failing. “Do I bore you, Taekwoonie?” 

There. He said it.

“No.” Taekwoon is twirling the stem of this fancy goblet between his fingers, and he sounds truthful enough. “Why?”

“Nothing,” he looks down his fingers. “You look like you are not having fun, that’s all.” he complements a little somberly, fingers running to brim of the glass in front of him distractedly. 

Taekwoon takes the small drive from Hakyeon’s arm, throwing it inside the goblet in front of him, giving it back to a waitress as she passes by.

“Woah, what was that for?” Hakyeon blinks confusedly, frowning because he would pay for this either way.

Taekwoon folds his arms over the table, again. A guy approached them as Hakyeon muster the anger necessary to match the challenge in Taekwoon’s eyes, calling for a fight. “I knew I would see you again.” 

Oh no, is the six out of ten Jaehwan told him about. “Is this the boyfriend I heard about?” he points in Taekwoon’s direction, his eyes on Hakyeon have this heavy, dark light, one only those who have being involved can shown. It looks like intimacy.

Taekwoon raises his eyebrow, but otherwise remains silent.

“Come on,” he pulls Hakyeon by the hips, resting his forehead on Hakyeon’s, who stands, rather baffled and stunned on the spot, both hands of the man’s chest to keep them apart. Their little scene causing other people to look at them. “You know he can’t treat you like I do. I mean, he looks like a damn mannequin.”

Before Hakyeon summons the power necessary to push a human away, before he can convince his inner protocols that this dread his feels inside, is because he is under imminent danger and must get away from the human, Taekwoon is already on his feet.

The man releases him and Hakyeon steps away immediately, he assumes (what Hakyeon supposes it’s) a proper fight instance, however Taekwoon does not do anything, he shots Hakyeon one final glance and walks to the exit, in resolute silence, the man yells after him, but doesn’t do nothing else, Hakyeon sets running after him but security holds him by the door.

He must pay first.

His hands shake as he extends the bar code to the waitress sitting by the door, taking that man’s hands off his arms, his hips, of  _ him. _

What’s thus guy’s name again? Hakyeon does not know.      

“Don’t touch me!” and he pushes the man back, running down the street without looking back, people looking at him, asking if he needs help, is this man bothering him? What is your serial number?  _ Wait! _

It all comes down to mere noise, and Hakyeon feels two things, regret and the sound of his labored breath coming in and out of his empty rib-cage, drumming is his ears.

He finds Taekwoon entering the subway, hands is his pockets. “Taekwoon wait!” 

Again, people stop to look at him, but Taekwoon only spares him one disinterested glance before crossing the blockade, Hakyeon touches his arm just to have it yanked off his grip. Taekwoon looks at him is silence, as if daring to touch him again.

Hakyeon doesn’t. 

“Please, I’m not-”

Taekwoon covers his mouth with his hand. “Stop.” his voice sounds like nothing, devoid of any feeling, good or bad. “Stop.” he repeats to be sure that once he removes his hand, Hakyeon will stay silent.

And he does.

He removes his hands from Hakyeon’s mouth slowly, steps inside his personal space, eyes searching, judging, and then he is walking away, mixing in the crowd, vanishing.

His hands shake once he reaches for his phone, he calls Jaehwan in a rush of blur and dread, and Jaehwan picks up, his voice chirp because it’s early for him, time to be out and about. “Yes, hyung?”

“I need help.” His voice cracks and Jaehwan’s tone slows down a notch when he says  _ yes how can I help you, hyung _ ? “Can I stay at your place tonight?”

Jaehwan is silent for a seconds before giving his answer, mercifully not asking. “Yes, the key is under the mat. Want me to go home earlier today?”

He shakes his head, remembering Jaehwan can’t see him. “No. You don’t need to.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which a catharsis happen and most of the pain stops

Hakyeon does not come home in two days, and Jaehwan goes through the trouble of sending Wonshik a message from Hakyeon’s cell, letting him know Hakyeon is not dead and his parts are not being sold on the penny market.

Wonshik thanks him for his kindness, says that he will think of something to bring him back home. Jaehwan says it’s fine, he enjoys the company anyway, that his girlfriend thinks Hakyeon is cute, and his cooking is good.

At home though, he is going through another problem. Taekwoon is being uncooperative.

“At least tell me what happened.” he sits on the couch right in front of Taekwoon, but they are not making visual contact, he had barely acknowledged Wonshik in those almost twenty minutes.

“You want me to bring him back home, but first you need to sooth my temper, so I’ll cooperate.” he says, cat toy in hand. "There is nothing to talk about if that's why you ask."

Wonshik looks a little caught out of guard. Taekwoon gets up, gets his coat. “No need to use your  _ creator  _ tone to make me cooperate. Ask me directly, I’ll do what I must.” he looks briefly at Wonshik before going out of the door.

Taekwoon won't say his problem is not Hakyeon ex's, won't say his problem is Hakyeon thinking that he has to be drunk to stand being in Taekwoon's presence. He won’t force himself on Hakyeon anymore than he would with anyone else, if Hakyeon wants to be with others, he has no part in this, and if Hakyeon needs to to keep things hidden from him, he _wants_ no part in this.

But again, he will do as he is told.

It's a bother knowing so much about Wonshik's behavior, especially when he can't tell him why he can recognize his work voice. 

Now the room is silent, and Hongbin surges from a corner, Wonshik is sprawled on the couch looking pensive. “Do I use my work voice with him?” he asks Hongbin, and he nods in return, arms crossed defensively. “ _ Damn it _ .” he mutters under his breath.

 

**~+~**

 

When the door opens again Hakyeon is alone, looking somewhat intoxicated, if his unfocused eyes are something to go by. Wonshik has been captive of his own thoughts for hours, and only now he saw the message on his cell from Jaehwan saying that Hakyeon was going back home,  _ five hours ago. _

“Where  _ were  _ you?” he gets up and walks to Hakyeon, who passes him by, arms crossed

“Where is Taekwoon?” he places both hands on his hips, pacing around the room stopping right in the middle of it, he sounds firm, even if a bit slurred.

“He went out to get  _ you _ , hyung.” Wonshik throws both hands in the air in exasperation. "Wait, are you drunk?"

It’s not that Hakyeon is being difficult, it’s not like he walks around drunk, and in all honesty, he is not drunk. Tipsy? Yes. High on impulsiveness? Yes. Overall high? Yes. Drunk? No. 

But with what he has to say, he needs the boost, needs the stupid blind courage to spill everything he has to say. “Wonshik leave, Hongbin you too.” he says, pointing Wonshik’s room door, but instead of moving, Wonshik stares at him with a deep frown.

“Why? What are you going to do?” he did not move an inch, but Hakyeon can't seem to stop moving, walking around and biting his nail.

“I am going to  _ address this issue _ , Wonshik.” Hakyeon runs his hands through his hair, he has to work this anxious energy somehow.

Wonshik shakes his head, frown in place. “Can you handle opening this wound now, hyung?” he sounds worried.

Hakyeon laughs waryly, shaking his head in sheer disbelief. “It never closed, Wonshik. You know it, you only chose to ignore it, like we all did. Leave, I need to take this off my chest, if I don’t I won’t be able to live with him. I can’t pretend we were just acquaintances.” he sits to prevent himself from walking around the whole room, tapping his feet in place.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.” he stuffs his hands in his pockets, resigned, preferring to leave as it is.

_ Well, it's too late for that now, isn’t it? _

He takes one breath, then two because one is not enough. “Trust me, for a change.” he asks, hands over his knees to keep his legs still.

Hongbin sits on the stairs, silently turning off his cameras, vanishing, Wonshik leaves and give Taekwoon a quick call,  _ Hakyeon is back, come home. _

There is the click of Wonshik’s door, and then silence.

So much silence, Hakyeon can hear himself working, it remembers him that he is not a human being, he _is_ a machine, despite his best intentions.

But then, why is everything so difficult to handle? He wishes Granny was here to offer the support he needs now.

The front door opens and he stands up, he does not know how much time has passed. Taekwoon offers him on brief acknowledgement glance as he closes the door and takes off his coat and gloves.

“We need to talk.” he keeps rubbing his hands on his pants, even if they are unable to sweat. He stuffs them in the back pockets of his jeans, in the end.

Taekwoon gives him a sidelong glance, taking his shoes off and going to the kitchen, Hakyeon goes after him. “I never told you about… What happened for you to be no longer a software.” he starts, and Taekwoon starts washing the dinner dishes. “The truth is… I loved you, loved you so much I… I made you believe you needed to terminate your session, update, then maybe you could make me happy. Many things happened while Hongbin and Wonshik were here, I got jealous…” saying it out loud made everything real, and Hakyeon was not all that ready to see this as something real. “Of you and Hongbin, you were together all the time, spoke in codes and… He could touch you, like I never could... It poisoned me, everyday, all the time… When you said you were going to shut down, I…” he trails off and looks down, his lips dry, hands curling inside his back pockets as he shifts over his feet,  anxious once again. Taekwoon dries his hands, leaning against the counter. “You?” he prods, and Hakyeon shots his eyes up.

“I…” there it is again…  _ Shame _ , boiling and coursing through his system like a virus. “I teared, all your cameras inside my room off the wall and broke them… You didn’t want to turn me in, so you covered my violent acts and got locked down. You died several hours later, and I was selfish and ungrateful about it until the end. I could not cope with losing you, I still can't.”

They both stand in silence, but hearing Taekwoon’s voice saying it made everything harder, made him bleed again. “You loved me to death.” 

Hakyeon has to lean against the wall to hold himself up, shaking as a beast threatened by fire. Taekwoon shakes the hair off his face with one swift motion of his head and walks to Hakyeon, still leaning against the wall. “I knew about that, all that. Sanghyuk told me.”

Hakyeon looks at him with confusion in his eyes, Taekwoon offers him this small secretive smile, one that looks like forgiveness and redemption, then lowers his head for a second, in a way that prevents Hakyeon from studying his eyes, and then he steps in, without touching, just one single whisper in his ear, shaking his entire existence, that already threatened to crumble. “Will you stop hiding things from me now?”

Hakyeon’s breath catches in his throat, and when Taekwoon backs away he swears he sees a glimpse of pink in his cheeks as he walks out. He slides against the cold wall until he hits the tiled floor.

He will, of course he will.

He just need to catch his breath first.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> which is here to announce that THERE WILL BE FLUFF and maybe smut I think  
> READY YOUR HEARTS YALL

Breakfast is rather normal, considering the circumstances. Hongbin floats aimlessly around the room, because he feels bored and sometimes he likes to float around. Hakyeon exchanges messages with Jaehwan about work, and Taekwoon hums a sad song about a man whose partner died and left him alone as he washes the dishes.

Normal.

Wonshik takes his cup of coffee and his eyes flicker between the two droids quietly doing their own things, but there is no heaviness here, in fact, Hakyeon gets up to make more coffee, one hand resting on Taekwoon's hipbones as he slides behind him on the crumpled space to get the coffee, Taekwoon spares him a glance, still humming, and Hongbin is the first to ask because he has no decency.

“So are you guys ok again?”

Taekwoon looks at him over his shoulder, and Wonshik cautiously sips his coffee. “Fine.” Taekwoon repeats, and Hakyeon is making more coffee with this placid expression that makes Wonshik smile a little around his cup.

Ok, so they are ‘fine’ again. Thank _goodness_.

Wonshik mentions that Grandma Kim will be back soon, but just when this cold ease up a bit, his father does not seem to like Hakyeon very much, and he did not even mentioned Taekwoon, he is not in the mood for explaining how he came back (quite illegally) from the dead.

Grandma will have a surprise.

Taekwoon announces that he has to leave, he will go out and buy a cell for himself, Sanghyuk has been pestering him about it in the most unconventional ways possible, and he is yielding. Hakyeon kindly offers himself as an escort, he just has to put some clothes in the washing machine, and they’d be good to go. Taekwoon nods and sits beside Wonshik to wait, messing with some of the remnant papers he left scattered around.

“You two look like an elderly couple.” Hongbin has no idea of how to behave, really. Hakyeon throws a pair of pants in Hongbin’s face as he follows him to the laundry in the back, and it’s just as effective as one would imagine, it hits the wall behind him as it goes through him, but Hakyeon feels better so it’s all good.

The laundry is one of the few rooms inside the house that has no windows, no doors, and no cameras, Hongbin can only follow until they reach the doorframe, and there he stops, because his signal doesn’t go that far.

He can’t look at what Hakyeon is doing as he passes around, getting the settings of the washing machine ready, he is the only person in the house, aside from Granny, that is capable of operating this thing.

“We are not an elderly couple, we are not a couple in general.” Hakyeon comes back to the hallway to get the pants he threw at Hongbin from the floor, looking mildly annoyed, but not as defensive as he would if had no plans of being a couple in the future.

“Yeah, I saw your hand on his hips today at breakfast.” he rolls his eyes, sitting on the counter, close to the laundry’s door. “You totally did that affectionate thing with your thumb, you know?” he mentions, moving his thumbs in circles to simulate the movement he was referring to.

Hakyeon does this indignant noise. “I did _not._ ” he scoffs and throws some clothes inside the washing machine.

Hongbin chuckles, all dimples and those big eyes of him that make him look like a small critter. “Yes, you did, you _so_ did it. You are so obvious, hyung.”

“Can’t you respect your elders? Geez.” Hakyeon is leaving and Hongbin is right behind him, smiling that mischievous smile that meant he was thinking of something that Hakyeon will surely regret soon enough.

Too bad Hakyeon can’t see a thing.

“Ready, Taekwoonie?” Hakyeon smiles as he returns, reaching out to Taekwoon’s hair to get his attention, fingers running through jet black strands.

Taekwoon nods and get to his feet, hands inside his pockets, walking to the door in silence with Hakyeon close behind. They leave and Wonshik looks at Hongbin, who is sitting on the couch across from him, his smile in place.

“So what are you thinking, Hongbin-ah?” Wonshik doesn’t have to ask, because he knows, but he wants to hear Hongbin saying it.

Hongbin looks at him, smiling easily. “I have an idea.”

 

~+~

 

Hakyeon feels nice like this, walking among showcases and walls made of glass, Taekwoon behind him, eyes open and unguarded, looking like a child, only much taller, muttering things under his breath.

But there was one issue that still needed attention. “Taekwoonie?”

Taekwoon, still looking very much absorbed by the lights and the stores, only hums in a mildly attentive response, hands buried deep inside his pants pockets.

“Yesterday,” Taekwoon looks at him properly, regretfully tearing his eyes from all the lights that surround them both. “You said something…” he trails off, wandering in dangerous territory already.

When Taekwoon speaks it’s so much like a whisper that the noises around them almost drown his words. “Why are you so cautious around me?”

Hakyeon stops walking, looking at the cold pavement glowing with arrows and direction indications, Taekwoon stops a few steps ahead, looking back at him, face even, waiting.

Why he is so cautious?

Fear would be the most accurate word. Fear of many things, scaring him away with his overbearing passion, fear of reaching out just to be met with walls, cold eyes, distant words… Fear of _loss_.

Hakyeon blinks a few times before saying it out loud, feeling himself constricting inwards, trying to make himself smaller. “I think I’m trying to cause a good impression.” he smiles, laughs it off, not wanting to brood on this subject.

The silence stretches, Taekwoon seems to let Hakyeon agonize under his gaze for a few more moments before he starts walking again, Hakyeon catching up to him in a second. “Sanghyuk gave me my old memory card back, only said he didn’t so Wonshik and you would feel more at ease while living with me, so you could cope with guilt.” Hakyeon hears him saying eyes ahead, in the countless faces he would not see again. “But you are not at ease, you don’t even let me close… You seem to have no problem in offering yourself to others, though. Am I the problem?”

Hakyeon gapes for a second, and shame washes over him like a wave. For the first time in years, his many flings, the disposability of every single one of those relations, fell heavy over him with Taekwoon quiet eyes burning holes in him. He would ask how does he know about them but Taekwoon beats him to it. “You forget how much I know about body language, how many years I spent observing humans and their ways to perform my function, for the mainframe.” he hears Taekwoon say as he enters a store… Oh, yes, his cell… That’s why they are here.

The buying process comes and goes in a blur, eyes fixed on the gray flooring, walking behind Taekwoon in silence, feeling his insides twisting in a very familiar kind of anguish. He is in the process of being consumed by his mind and simply, blindly follow Taekwoon’s back as he opens way through the people, when Taekwoon pulls him back by holding his hand, preventing him from getting lost. “I don’t think less of you because of this, I was the one who told you to have a life outside me. And I don’t regret saying that, I could not stand you suffering for me any longer, at least with them, you had some comfort.”

The way he sounded, so resigned, so far away from him, made something strain inside him, made his insides twist as if stabbed, and maybe in defense, maybe in anger, he got Taekwoon by the shoulder and threw him against the closest pillar he could find, his back collided against the metal and stone in a dry thud, and maybe because of the action, maybe because Hakyeon was screaming, Taekwoon stared at him wide eyed, eyebrows high, mouth slightly open.

“ _No_ ! _Don’t_ say you are happy for me! Not because I had an endless string of one-night stands! Not because I was with so many people I can’t even remember them all!” _Not when I wasn't with you._ His breath caught in his throat like he just went out of the water after almost drowning, people around all gave him worried glances, Taekwoon nods for a watcher droid just on the corner, signaling he’s ok, he does not need help, he is not being attacked. He holds Hakyeon by the shoulder, stops him before he can start screaming again.

But the thoughts can't be so easily stopped.

_It was always you._

_I had them because I couldn’t have you._

_Don’t look at me like that._

_Please, please, please… Not you._

“Hakyeon, look at me.” _I’m right here._ Taekwoon sounds so soft, like he did when he got too worked up in the past, sounding like secrets, and Hakyeon raises his eyes, eyebrows drawn together, hands cold and shaking because he is unstable, he wants to be enough. “Not here, is there anywhere you can go, so we can talk?” _Calm down, it’s ok._

Most of the time, Hakyeon is the one providing stability for others, giving advice, offering anything he has in order to help, because he gets the happiest when others around him are happy. His problem is: when he is the one needing help, he locks it up, he keeps it hidden and away from everyone and everything for as long as he possibly can.

And that is exactly what he did when he lost Taekwoon the first time, he locked it up, kept smiling and kept himself busy and kept everyone as happy as he could until he could convinced himself that everything was in it’s right place.

He never convinced himself.

But now Taekwoon was back and he could not afford losing him a second time, maybe it was his previous guilt, maybe the love he felt morphed into something more, something else, maybe it was both, maybe it was none.

Taekwoon held his hand inside his pocket until they reached Jaehwan’s bar, providing silent support.

“I’m sorry. I got too out of hand… Talking about that makes me skittish.” he says, a nervous chuckle, feeling uncomfortable inside his own skin. Taekwoon runs his thumb over the hand he holds inside his pocket in a silent comfort, settling Hakyeon’s insides partially off the edge.

They push the door open, Jaehwan is not awake at this hours, and if he is, he is with his girlfriend. Hakyeon knows he will come around later, to change his shift with his co-worker, the man on the counter now. He knows Hakyeon only because he works there too, and every droid in any establishment has to know the face of all their co-workers, in case there is any problem.

“Morning’ Hakyon-ah.” If anything, the man is very smiley, his cheekbones high on his face, his eyes small, looking like sunshine and pancakes. He is quite a presence. “What are you doing here this early? Jaehwanie is not here yet.” He smiles, producing a jar of orange juice from behind the counter with the same naturalness that Jaehwan does with the bottles of alcohol.

“I know, I… I’ll just hang around for some time, then I’ll go. Is that ok, Eunkwang-ah?” He hopes he won't be kicked out for not buying anything, but Eunkwang only smiles more, looking child-like, returning his attention and small talk back to the customers, nodding at Hakyeon to sit down.

He sits and Taekwoon sits with him, in silence, giving Hakyeon the time to calm himself down if needed. “Taekwoon, what do you think of me? “ Hakyeon absently rips tiny pieces of the paper napkin in his hands, piling them up together on his side of the table.

It's not an immediate response, Taekwoon looks as him in silence as he rips the napkins distractedly. “My only memories of you are my old ones, and you are not the same.” Taekwoon’s tone is not accusative, he makes a calm statement, looking at his hands, biting his lips while attempting to make sense of himself. “My previous memories were not tainted by complex feelings, I was not this human, not this vulnerable.” He taps his fingers on the table, sounding a little awkward for talking about this subject in particular.

It’s not that Hakyeon wants to talk about this, but he needs to. “I think all those shallow relationships were my way to cope with your departure, my guilt,” he takes Taekwoon’s hand over the table because there is nearly anyone else in here and there’s this low buzz inside his head telling him to keep Taekwoon close, keep him where he can see him. “I never actually expected to have you back, and I don't want to justify myself... but I always thought about you, with all of them.” he does this small circles over Taekwoon’s hands with his thumbs, the “affectionate thing” as Hongbin would say. “I just don't want to hurt you again, to disappoint you, to make you go away… I thought that maybe, if I told you the truth you would be scared, overload by this feelings I have.”

The words seem to be sinking into both of them, Taekwoon shakes his head, intertwining their fingers, looking at him in a way that makes him want to hide. “You should not justify yourself, you are not mine to keep.”

“I’m not?” Hakyeon spills this before he can stop himself, hands holding Taekwoon tighter as to prevent him to walk away.

Taekwoon looks at him in a way that seems to be just a little shaken. “Do you want to be?”

“Yes.” his response is immediate, and he looks at Taekwoon right in the eye, but Taekwoon looks down, hides behind his fringe, his shoulders slumping a bit, making him look smaller. Hakyeon can't bring himself to regret his words, he would say them again if he needed to.

Taekwoon bites his lips in silence before raising his head again, a small reminiscent of pink on his cheeks.

_Endearing._

Taekwoon offers him one small smile, a shy one, and Hakyeon feels his insides doing that backflip again, _damn it_. “I guess that can be negotiated.” He mutters, voice warm and small.

“I thought you were done playing it nice.” Hakyeon is feeling particularly challenging, a tiny bit of stupid courage to take this off his chest. The way Taekwoon looks back at him isn’t really fair, especially because Hakyeon has to go work tonight.

But now, instead of lowering his gaze, Taekwoon looks tentative, debating whether he should say something or not, it's always a little thrill, waiting for him to arrange his words, and Hakyeon keeps his eyes steady until he hears Taekwoon barely whispering. “I am, if you are…” and his eyes fall to their connected hands.

_It's not fair._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> breaking news is, soon I'll be back in college so no more daily chapters (I'm sorry I still love all of you, or the majority of you, to be fair) please bear with me  
> And thank you for your comments, you give me life c:


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which I give you some happiness

“Kim Wonshik! You better pick up this cell and say you are well and living or else I’m calling the police in two minutes!” he's all but screaming at Wonshik’s voice mail, pacing around, Taekwoon sitting over his own legs, holding a pillow, wondering how things turned out like this.

Somehow they managed to vanish during the few hours they were out, and not only Wonshik, Hongbin, too, was gone. Hakyeon is more than a little worried.

They even took the cat.

They both went out to buy cat food, and they took the cat.

_ Unbelievable. _ Hakyeon is already dialing the police number when Wonshik sends him a message.

_ Me and Hongbin are going to spend a few days with Grandma and my parents, don’t worry we’re fine.  _

Wonshik would rather cut off his own arm than spend time in the same house as his father’s. 

_ This man is a liar. _

But he should know, he should know that when Wonshik asked them to go out and buy cat food in the middle of the night, that he had something like this in mind, he obviously wouldn’t ask them both to go out if he had any good intentions.

He noticed they were acting weird since the day they got out to buy Taekwoon’s cell, but he never thought it would turn into something like  _ this. _

This must that dimpled flower boy’s idea, of course it’s his idea, Wonshik would never go that far. 

_ That kid, I swear... _

Hakyeon calls him the moment his screen lights up with the message. “What are you even  _ thinking  _ Wonshik?! Where  _ are _ you?!” and he paces around the room, visibly nervous, Taekwoon is more amused than he should, considering the situation.

Wonshik sounds casual when he answers. “I told you, I’m at my father’s house.”

He certainly wishes that Wonshik could see him giving this accusing look back at the cell, but he can’t, the cameras are turned off, so he has to verbalize his thoughts instead. “Well, then Taekwoon and I are going too. For heaven’s sake, you even took the  _ cat _ .” he can hear Wonshik fumbling with his keys, he is nervous.

_ This man is a goddamn liar. _

“You know my father dislikes you, and taking Taekwoon would make things even harder, for both of you.” he reasons, and Hakyeon clicks his tongue disapprovingly.

“Where’s Granny, I want to talk to her.” he says, hands on his hips, angry, and Taekwoon silent amusement would be good if it wasn't built on Hakyeon’s expanses.

Wonshik mumbles something similar to “she is sleeping right now” and Hakyeon does not buy it, not a single of word of it, and  _ oh I’m sorry, hyung, my mom wants helpwithdinnerbye. _

_ This man, is a bad goddamn liar. _

Taekwoon watches as Hakyeon falls back on the couch, making this loud disgruntled noise. He has to work tonight, and thus Taekwoon is going to be alone, in this big, cold, empty house. And it is clear that Hakyeon cares about it much more than Taekwoon ever will.

He sounds guilty when he says. “I have to work… Are you going to be okay?” he looks serious in a way that makes Taekwoon think that if he says he is not, Hakyeon will stay with him. 

But he is fine. “I’m okay.”

In a flash, Hakyeon is up, walking and sitting beside him, taking his hands between his smaller ones. “I’m sorry. This is probably my fault, Wonshik wants me into your personal space.” he looks apologetic, and he is on his way to say that he is going to bring them both back home as soon as possible when Taekwoon sighs.

“Go. I’ll be ok.” He gets up and walks out, upstairs, in quiet, light steps, leaving Hakyeon alone in the living room.

If Hakyeon was being sincere, he would say he needs no more time, that he wants Taekwoon close, and that he wants him now, but Taekwoon is already gone, and he does not want make this one of his flings, that is not the idea. He wants to take things slower, treat Taekwoon like he deserves.

Even so he has some hours before he has to leave, two, to be more exact, and so he is going upstairs after Taekwoon, very much intending to spend every free second he has together with him, doing nothing but being close.

Or, asking invasive questions that make Taekwoon turn around and look at him like he just asked if he wants to do some recreational drugs. “Do you love me, Taekwoon?” he asks by the door of Taekwoon’s room, watching him closing the windows.

Taekwoon is silent for a few seconds before answering. “If I was to be completely honest, I don’t know,” he starts, sitting by the edge of the bed. “The feelings I had for you as a software remained, but I have yet to discover how this feelings I have now work, how to be human…” 

It was not the answer Hakyeon was expecting, but Taekwoon sounds so sincere when he looks up. “I was hoping that you could teach me.”

Hakyeon rests his head against the cool wooden doorframe, humming his response and wetting his lips with his tongue to prevent himself from saying too much.

_ Slow, Hakyeon. _

_ Slow. _

“You are so very unfair…” he mutter almost to himself, eyes closed, opens them only when he hears Taekwoon’s bed shifting, watches as Taekwoon passes him by to get him by the wrist, and he looks back, but does not try to get himself free. “I would be happy to help you figure out this feelings.”

Taekwoon nods, looking at his hand, still holding his wrist. Hakyeon holds them like this for a few more seconds before summoning the willpower to let him go… For now.

He has to work anyway.

That night he leaves earlier, thinking about taking some air and not taking Taekwoon, it works to some extent.

Jaehwan greets him like he usually does, asking right off the bat why dropped by earlier? Why is he here one hour before his shift? Where is his coat? Is it Mr.Eight ( _ Taekwoon, Jaehwan, stop it _ ) again? Does he need help? He can stay over again if he needs.

“Wonshik ran way with the flower boy and the cat and now I’m alone with Taekwoon.” he serves some shots, some guy by the bar looks at him curiously.

Jaehwan hums, thinking what must be the problem then. “And? What’s the problem?” he fails to see what is the problem is being alone with his hot back-from-the-dead boyfriend.

“The problem is that I’m serious about him.” Hakyeon keeps himself occupied organizing bottles, it’s always funny to be behind the counter, for a change. “Today we spoke about things, about,” he makes a gesture with his hands “About this, and he is so accommodating, so soothing I...I just want him so bad. I don’t deserve him.” he leans against the counter, Hakyeon is three breaths away from telling the guy by the bar to go fuck himself, because he won’t help with that.

Jaehwan blinks slowly at him. “Wow. You must be head over heels if you are willing to wait.” Hakyeon shots him this dry side glance, tapping his fingers against the metal counter. “Does he know?” is Jaehwan’s next question, handing a martini to this girl, offering her a wink and a smile from over the counter.

“About?” Hakyeon is busy making a drink to a man,  _ something with fruit _ , as the man instructed, and Jaehwan makes this movement with his wrist, flourish and a little too exaggerated.

“You know, about your  _ stuff _ .” Jaehwan shrugs, handing him a bottle of Gin. 

The struggles of finding a suitable glass are all too present in Hakyeon’s perfectionist nature as a bartender. “I guess not, but he reads me all too well. I have this feeling he just wants to hear me saying it.” ah, finally the perfect glass for this fruity bullshit, he slides it to the man and completely dodges the smile he gets in return. He would not explain about how every time they are together he gets  _ nervous _ and forgets every single thing about  seduction he knows and becomes a mess of feelings of infatuation and other sappy things he prefers not to dwell on.

Talking about embarrassment.

“Is this guy enough to make you monogamous?” Jaehwan’s tone is not more than a sneer, Hakyeon shots him a halfhearted glare and indignant noise that make Jaehwan snort ungraciously. “He must be good then.”

 

**~+~**

 

Mornings are weird when he has no one to cook to, no one to wake, no one to remind him of things. It makes him remember he is not a human, that he only needs the control panel and an energy source to keep himself operational.

There is something in the way Hakyeon paces around today, something in his steps, as he comes back from the garden, something that Taekwoon can’t quite put a finger on, something restless.

He wonders if the silence is what makes Hakyeon turn on some music, or if it’s that restless thing resting in his steps, cautious. He is cleaning the house, and he won’t disturb him, but he does not miss the way their eyes sometimes meet over the furniture and the way Hakyeon always looks away.

Is he nervous?

“Sorry, Woonie, I have been neglecting you.” He looks guilty, like he has done something terrible. “Do you want to go out? We can go.” He holds Taekwoon's hands, and it feel far too intimate for such a simple action.

Taekwoon wants to say he does not requires so much attention, and that the clouds look heavy and threatening, so he wouldn't risk going out now, it might rain soon; but instead he only looks at their joined hands, Hakyeon’s stare is far too intense, like he is daring him to read his eyes like he normally does, but he has an idea of what he going to find.

He wants him to say it directly, instead.

So he shakes his head. “Do you need help?” And he does not miss the way Hakyeon’s eyes crinkle slightly when he smiles, looking grateful and something else, something Taekwoon cannot name, but can recognize, for he may have felt it before.

“No, thank you. I’m almost done. We can watch a movie, then.” he says, their knees brushing, because Hakyeon can't sit still.

Taekwoon offers a nod, and Hakyeon is moving away, to clean the bathroom and open the windows. The house is too spacious for only two people, Taekwoon paces around pondering if he should clean himself today, he is going through some of the ancient books Mrs. Kim kept in her bookshelf, and he would not touch, afraid of ruining them.

He feels arms around him and turn to see Hakyeon with his nose buried into his nape, attached to him in a weird angle, he probably made a beeline from the stairs to hug him. “I missed you, so much… All these years.” Hakyeon nuzzles his neck and all Taekwoon can think about is that it tickles, and that Hakyeon feels very warm against him… Is he shaking?

The least Taekwoon can do is turn around to hug him properly, but when he does Hakyeon seems to be caught off guard, a high pitched noise leaving his throat as Taekwoon maneuvers him around, setting him against his chest in silence, one hand on his hips, the other on his hair.

_ Oh… _

_ Oh, ok. _

_ This is nice. _

He smells different, some herbal scent that Hakyeon does not recognize. It’s warm, and present, and insistent, and chaste, and Hakyeon feels slightly bad for being unable to keep his own desires under control when Taekwoon just seems to want to comfort him, make the pain stop, once and for all. “All I ever wanted for you was that you could keep your smile, but I failed you, and I’m sorry.” he sounded truly apologetic, heavy, and when Hakyeon raised his eyes, the only thing he saw in Taekwoon’s expression was that same old pain he saw whenever he looked at him in the past, but now it reached the surface and overflowed, making his eyes look clouded even when his expression remained even. 

“You never failed me, stop talking like that, you’ll make me cry.” he slaps Taekwoon's arm, and it’s clear he doesn’t meant it but he hears Taekwoon muttering he’s sorry anyway. “But… We have to talk…” he looks apprehensive as he pushes back, out of the warmth of his hug, feeling a little lightheaded.

Taekwoon only nods in silence, and when Hakyeon sits beside him, he takes his hands again, because he likes to be able to hold him, to know he is  _ there _ ,  _ within reach. _

“What do you want to make of,” he moves their intertwined hands in the air. “ _ This _ ?” 

The small smile that graced Taekwoon’s expression made him feel silly, like he just made the stupidest question ever, and maybe he did, because he very much knew what he wanted to do with  _ this _ . “You should stop worrying, I trust you completely, Hakyeon. You can call this whatever you want.” Taekwoon’s leans in to rest his forehead on his shoulder, Hakyeon has no other reaction to offer other than him sucking in a painful unnecessary breath and tripping over the next words he hears so close to his ears. “But you said you wanted to be mine. Considering you still do…” he trails off, and Hakyeon feels suddenly alarmed.

“ _ Yes.  _ I-” Taekwoon stops him, hand on his mouth again, sighing contently. 

His voice sounds like smiles, but Hakyeon cannot see since he is still buried in the crook of his neck. “You talk too much.”

It’s not fair.

Not fair at all.

He might as well start calling him husband.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which there is angst and fluff

Wonshik sends him a message asking how’s everything, and Hakyeon is tempted to send him a photo of Taekwoon on his bed, reading, but he refrains. He’ll behave… a little.

Actually he says nothing, only throws the cell on the sofa and gets on bed to sit beside Taekwoon in silence… Ok, maybe not silence.

“It’s unfair, you know.” he complains and Taekwoon looks up from his book, looking mildly curious. “You know everything about me, but I only know a few things about you. That’s not really fair.” he crosses his arms, in proper vexed stance. 

Taekwoon has the finesse of lowering his book before answering to Hakyeon childish complains. “What to you want to know?” 

The sequential smile that graces Hakyeon expression is the one that says he is done with behaving, and it’s not exactly a surprise that Taekwoon rolls his eyes subtly at that. 

Hakyeon has this urge to shuffle closer, rest his head on Taekwoon’s shoulder and take his hand, something he will never get tired of doing. “ _ Everything. _ ”

If he was to be truthful, he wants to know every possible detail of every life Taekwoon ever lived, the previous one, this one, the next one… He’s getting cheesy, how depressing, he used to pride himself in being aloof. 

“There is so much I can say, but nothing really interesting.” he mentions, a small smile as he uses his thumb smooth down the frown on Hakyeon’s forehead. “But I can tell you one or two secrets about this unit.”

_ Secrets huh? _

It’s been something like three days since Wonshik and Hongbin decided to make this audacious escape mission towards matchmaking, and it’s true that Hakyeon feels slightly out of place without anyone to keep him company, because he  _ is  _ a domestic droid, he needs humans around him to fulfill his function, and if not he gets all kinds of anxious, but he can’t bring himself to answer Wonshik’s messages, asking him  _ how is it going  _ in part because he hopes that his silence is enough to make Wonshik  _ and  _ the flower boy understand that he utterly hates matchmaking.

Or at least think he is dead and come back home to check if he and Taekwoon finally killed each other and burnt down the house.

Nonetheless he enjoys the feeling of not being watched, knowing that he can keep his door open even though he and Taekwoon never even kissed because he gets  _ nervous.  _ The knowledge that he can, in theory make out with Taekwoon with door open is strangely refreshing, even if  _ refreshing  _ is not the best word to describe it.

“I love secrets.” he whispers against Taekwoon jaw as they fall to the side, because Taekwoon is always compliant and let’s him do as he pleases most of the time. “I love  _ your  _ secrets even more.”

Even if they never did anything, not even a simple kiss, there is something suffocatingly intimate in having Taekwoon sprawled across his bed, looking all kinds of indulgent with his hands patiently resting beside his head, almost like surrender. 

It’s almost too much as it is.

“I’m sure you do.” he has the cheekiness of sounding sarcastic. “Let’s see… My unit is not domestic, like yours.” he seems to be unfazed, even when Hakyeon sits on top of him, he lets Hakyeon support himself with both hands on his chest. “Sanghyuk made me unable to connect the mainframe, to avoid them asking questions.”

Hakyeon let's his head fall to the side, he knows how beautiful his looks with his jawline exposed like this. “If you are not domestic, then what kind of droid are you?” Except Taekwoon does not move and his eyes remain composed like they always are.

He only shrugs, smiling faintly, hands still relaxed in surrender beside his head. The windows remain open, just like the door, there is a cold breeze even if the sun shines, giving light, but no warmth. 

“I wish I had the courage to kiss you.” He traces Taekwoon’s jaw in quiet adoration. He has been touching him like this since he discovered that Taekwoon would not oppose him when there were no witnesses. Always pliant and warm, stable like anything has ever been before.

Taekwoon nuzzles his hand in silence, he feels… happy, is that the word? The word that you use when you feel your chest welling up at the sight of somebody else’s smiles? If so, he certainly remember been happy before, he should have known, all the information in the world stored inside his head, and he still struggles to gather his words right.

It’s true that when Taekwoon came back, he vowed to keep his knowledge of his previous life as a secret, Sanghyuk gave him the choice to remember or not, and it’s true that when he came back he found Hakyeon far more scarred than he thought he would, but that was not the reason why they are here now.

He thought he just wanted to mend his previous mistakes, and maybe he did. When he saw him at the bar the first time, weeks ago. Now? Now he felt this slow burn, very constant, very present, but not overwhelming, a reminder maybe.

Of what exactly he did not know, but every time they got this close, he could feel Hakyeon shaking slightly and he could not help but think that he was scared, but of what? Him? 

Sometimes he wondered how was Hakyeon when with others? As a domestic android he should be most comfortable with humans, right? Taekwoon could not say, he was not domestic. 

Hakyeon was far more organic, human-like, than Taekwoon considered himself to be, his programs, his mind, made him at ease with solitude, in a way that Hakyeon would never be, he needed company, company to be sane, fulfilled, complete.

It always made him wonder if he at moments like this, when the shadow of humankind was not there to remind them of their own artificiality, Hakyeon felt entirely human. 

But he, he was given a body so he could do what he couldn't as software.

Keep this family happy and safe.

But none of them had to think about this right now.

“I have waited for you. And now that I have you… I can't do anything.” His sigh is a exasperated one, and Taekwoon smiles because it always amuses him how easily worked up Hakyeon could get.

“What’s the rush?” he asks because he is not here because of this, and because Hakyeon always looks at him with his eyes full of  _ something  _ he can't name.

Hakyeon’s cell is ringing and Taekwoon breaks eye contact to look at the object vibrating of the sofa, very much neglected. 

“Aren't you going to answer?” He asks, mostly because Hakyeon makes no motion of getting up, but what if it's important?

Hakyeon sighs and goes to the cell, looking at the screen briefly, he clicks his tongue.

_ Wonshik. _

He let’s the object ring without picking up, he won't answer him until he and the flower boy return home, and he sighs again, because the noise is annoying and repetitive.

For all he knows, he can go out tonight, maybe bring Taekwoon along and go somewhere to do something adventurous. Taekwoon’s hands on his arms take him off his train of thought and he leans back. 

To his surprise Taekwoon is the one to say. “Do you want to go out tonight?” 

 

**~+~**

 

They do go out, and Hakyeon makes a point by choosing his nighttime clothes, the ones he uses when he is out for  _ business _ .

Taekwoon falls by his side, with some nice black jeans he borrowed from Wonshik when he came back and never returned, and a light blue sweater that exposed his collarbones entirely.

It was about time to introduce him to Jaehwan.

It would have to happen, eventually.

“Hyung! What are you doing in your trouble maker clothes? Problems in parad- Mr. Eight, you’re here!” The smile Jaehwan pulled off was all too familiar for the loud music, the smell of smoke and perfume.

He looks far too innocent in midst of this kind of chaos, but Jaehwan was a good liar as much as he was a good friend. Deceiving smiles and white lies were also good for business, apparently.

Taekwoon frowns, not only because of the smile and the extended hand, but also for the Mr. Eight mentions, is he talking to him? 

He takes the hand and wordlessly let's Jaehwan shake with enthusiasm enough to compensate his impassiveness.”Hakyeon-hyung told me so much about you! I feel like I know you already. I’m Jaehwan!”

He is too bright, too invasive, when he let’s Taekwoon's hand go, he let's the hand fall lifelessly beside him, and throw back a comment he hopes it's objective enough to make Jaehwan stop giving his seller smile. “Unfortunately, the feeling is one sided, and my name is Taekwoon.” he watches carefully as Jaehwan’s smile falters a bit, seeming taken aback. Good, he never gave him any rights to treat him with anything past a mild acquittances relationship. He would keep this silence going, but his cell vibrates on his wrist and he excuses himself in order to go to the bathroom and pick up before Sanghyuk starts getting annoying.

Now alone, or as alone as the two of them could ever possibly be, Jaehwan pouts and looks dejected. “Well, he’s rude.” He says, looking very much unpleased.

“No, he’s not.” Hakyeon crosses his arms over his chest, ready to start a discussion if needed. “If you slow down, you'll see he's actually quite nice.”

Jaehwan rolls his eyes, almost in disbelief. “Oh my god, hyung, you're already justifying his bullshit.”

Now it's Hakyeon’s turn to roll his eyes, and he excuses himself to the dance floor, tells Jaehwan to warn Taekwoon where he went to, and he does, once Taekwoon gets back, albeit a little too dryly. Surprisingly, Taekwoon reacts better at that than his smiles, and says he is no dancer, so he'll sit around the bar until Hakyeon decides to get back. 

As a barman, and owner of the establishment, Jaehwan has to ask if he wants something, but Taekwoon simply shakes his head, taking his surroundings carefully as if there was much to look at other than the mass of bodies on the dance floor right behind them. He looks small and a little lost, all the noises and heavy bass reverberating on every empty space and mechanical juncture of his body. 

He would have a headache, was he capable of doing so.  Loud noises made him hyper aware of everything around him, every movement, every sound, every heartbeat and rustle of fabric, every labored breath and drowned voice.

It was overwhelming, like few things should be.

Not being a domestic android had it’s problems, too.

When Hakyeon got back, Jaehwan’s eyes had been cautiously directed at Taekwoon a few times already, and he haven't noticed, not even once, trying to get his mind away from the intense smell of alcohol and humankind.

“What’s with the face, Taekwoonnie?” Hakyeon is suddenly there, too hot and loud and smelling like  _ a lot of people  _ at once, and Taekwoon flinches slightly, looking away as if to prevent the assault on his senses.

Hakyeon is happening too much, and now Taekwoon remembered why he stayed here for five minutes at best the last time he came to this particular bar.

For better or for worse, Hakyeon seems to let it slide, passed it as shyness, which is good, Taekwoon did not trust his words right now, and at some point, there was a transition, Hakyeon slipped away and leaned on the counter, wasting words with Jaehwan, a sly smile on his face, arms crossed to bend forward on the counter, the music too loud for a normal, proper conversation.

Taekwoon slips out without a word, stands outside to get some air in the alley, closing his eyes and trying to stop the music still pulsing in his system like electric waves, feels unpleasant, way too loud, too present, too overwhelming, and the brick wall and the biting cold of the night do something to soothe him, at least partially.

He needs some stability now, some quietness to hear his own system spinning.

It’s ok.

He’s ok.

He can still hear the music blaring through the walls, but it’s ok, he is  _ outside _ .

He discards one breath, then two, then three, and finally starts to feel his edges again, the tips of his fingers, scraping against the bricks, blunt fingernails and synthetic skin. 

It’s weird what too many people can do to him, how he can lose all senses of self, he is so used to not being his  _ own self, _ being part of a whole, a piece to compose a much bigger form, a token of a collective intelligence.

Sometimes being alone in his own head made him feel so lonely…

_ Feel  _ so lonely.

The silence spoke volumes, yes, but the noise made him weak, he was strangely in tune with chaos, was pliant to let every conversation sink into him.

Old habits die hard.

Hakyeon surges from around the corner, he probably did not use the same exit as he did, and if not for the footsteps and his breath, Taekwoon would not have noticed, eyes still closed, still lost in too much information and too much noise. 

They would have fell, if not for the wall behind them, because Hakyeon was throwing himself at him like he just survived war, and maybe he did.

He was clearly shaking in Taekwoon’s arms, but Taekwoon was, too.

“Why didn’t you warn me you would go out?!” his voice was too loud and Taekwoon winced visibly, he needed to regain his balance, but everywhere seemed to be so  _ crowded _ . Hakyeon’s anger died immediately. “Taekwoonie...? Taekwoonie, are you ok?”

Taekwoon hissed one shaky, choked breath  _ out _ . “ _ Stop talking _ .” 

It was suffocating, Hakyeon’s hands on his face felt too  _ real  _ and his old memories clashed with his new body and he gasped, slid down the wall onto the ground.

Hakyeon was nervous, feeling a lump in his throat he could not get rid off. Taekwoon did not seem to be hurt but he was shaking like he had been electrocuted, sitting on the cold, filthy ground of some back alley looking ready to faint, he stuttered his intentions of going to get help but Taekwoon held him by the wrist, shaking his head, clearly making himself dizzy in the process.

“I need… Something… To  _ ground  _ myself…” he seemed to be overheating, his hands far too warm, feverish by any human standard, all Hakyeon’s protocols screaming for him to  _ go and get help now _ , Taekwoon’s grip was weak at best, and his eyes shone a very distinct hue of yellow.

_ Error T-77: Information conflict, system malfunctioning. Stop all secondary programs. _

He stopped breathing, every single system inside himself telling the rest of the system to  _ cool down… _

_ Just… _

_ Cool… _

_ Down… _

And he did eventually, eyes peacefully closed, as if dead, and Hakyeon tried to ignore how much his insides twisted painfully, physically, at the sight.

Then the grip on his wrists got stronger, Taekwoon using him as leverage to get up, and they almost fell down again, if it wasn’t for the wall.

Taekwoon’s eyes returned to their customary black, and Hakyeon was the one shaking now, his voice was weak and faltered at the end when he got himself to speak again. “Taekwoon...?”

And Taekwoon’s first words to him were soft and worried. “Sorry.”

That was it, that unclenched the pain Hakyeon could feel constricting every juncture of his body, like a magnet pulling at his insides, as if to make him crumble from inside out, and he left his weight for Taekwoon to hold. He did a magnificent job, holding him up and steady, using to wall to steady  _ himself. _

There was no nervousness, there was only relief, and relief was the guiding force that drew Hakyeon close and their lips together, relief was the reason behind Hakyeon’s hand running through Taekwoon’s hair as if trying to stop him from vanishing, seeking contact like Taekwoon’s lips were the cure for a rare poison, for fear, for  _ loss _ , running deep inside his body, under his skin, on the hollow cave that was his chest.

He kissed him with the weight of six years of wait and sorrow and tears he was incapable of shedding.

Kissed him with the intensity of all the words and all the apologies he could never bring himself to say.

Kissed him with the hunger and the passion of all the love and adoration he never had the chance to offer.

Kissed him like it was the last time.

Because after what he saw today, he didn’t knew if it was.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which I require patience and a strong heart

They got back home after quick good byes at Jaehwan’s bar, Taekwoon laying on the couch with all the lights off, Hakyeon sitting on the edge of the sit to run his hands through black, shiny strands, tiptoeing around the subject as if trying not to scare a poisonous snake. 

“What was that, Taekwoon?” There. He said it.

Taekwoon rose his eyes in the dark, the faint, weak glow they emit, matches Hakyeon’s own, they stare at each other in silence for what can be seconds, or minutes, or  _ hours, _ until Taekwoon finally summons the power to deliver an answer. “When I was rebuilt… you remember I said Sanghyuk gave me a choice?” And Hakyeon nods, he remembers everything. “He said I could have my old memories back, but my old system was meant to be used by a software, not an android. Sometimes my memories clash with my new systems and I malfunction…” he sounds sheepish, almost ashamed. “This body, my mind can’t remember it existing before I… There is a conflict, and I need to wait until the problem is solved every time it happens.” There is a pause, he bites his lips, he needs to calm down.

Hakyeon takes some time to absorb the information, the darkness of the room doing nothing to conceal his pensive expression, Taekwoon can see very well in the dark, he is not a domestic droid, he is adaptable. The hand in his hair is loose, not moving, Hakyeon could be offended that he never bothered to tell him this, could be worried that this can damage Taekwoon hardware in the future, can be relieved that nothing actually bad happened this time.

He cracks a joke, because he does not want to deal with anything else. “Well, at least now there is no more secrets between us.”

Taekwoon touches his face, he notices his voice faltering, he notices everything. “I won’t go anywhere. Help me go through this.”

Hakyeon nuzzles his palm, holds his hand in place with his own, kisses his palm, his wrist, each if his fingers, he's shaking again, even if Taekwoon is warm and solid he feels the threat of losing him all over again, that yellow light, his body rejecting his mind, he  _ cannot _ lose him again.

He  _ will not _ lose him again.

Taekwoon is tired, overheating, he will call Sanghyuk tomorrow, say he malfunctioned, say his body does not recognize his memories, but without them he is just a vessel, no systems built on memories are the same, no two droids with complex emotions are the same. This is what tells them apart, this is what defines his  _ own self _ . 

He asks Hakyeon to stay and he does, they sleep on Taekwoon’s room for a change, and Hakyeon seems calmer, he plugs his cables to recharge on the wall panel and lets Taekwoon embrace him as they both shut down for the night. 

 

~×~

 

He calls Sanghyuk and tells him to come over, Sanghyuk does.

Hakyeon is happy to have someone to cook to, even is he says nothing, Taekwoon can hear him humming.

Sanghyuk is overbearing and intrusive, he comes in throwing his shoes around and leaving his coat on the couch like they don't have a hatstand right beside the front door.

“Hey, hyung.” He greets Hakyeon and plops on the couch beside Taekwoon, who is silent, with his legs crossed. “What's the matter, hyung?” he makes himself comfortable, sniffs once because he may or may not have caught a cold.

“I malfunctioned.” Taekwoon offers and Sanghyuk nods because he already heard this on the phone.

“Yeah, okay, but how?” he rubs his hands together, none of them thought that maybe the cold outside is too much for a normal human, they don't use the heater if it's just the two of them.

“My memory card,” he starts, wetting his lips to give himself the time to ordinate his thoughts. “I got a rejection, conflict between the hardware and the software. I lost my sense of self.” He tries to explain the feeling of losing his edges, becoming a part on a whole.

Sanghyuk hums and sniffs again, asking if Hakyeon could make him some warm beverage to at least compensate this long walk in the cold darkness that was the night outside, and maybe turn the heater on, it’s cold as fuck in here.  And as per usual, Hakyeon complains but does what he is told, and everyone knows he is just happy to have someone to keep company in this big, empty, and admittedly cold house.

“Ok. Shirt off hyung, you know the drill.” He mentions, moving his hands in the air a bit and reaching for his bag to get some contacts that make his pupils look huge, a source of light, that he attaches to his ears, one plier, and one needle.

Taekwoon is shirtless when Hakyeon comes back with the mug of steaming hot chocolate, and sets it on the table as Sanghyuk cuts synthetic skin and opens the panel on his back, sniffs again and directs a half interested  _ thanks hyung  _ at Hakyeon, who only hums in response, observing Taekwoon's insides blinking and spinning and working, some silverish alloy and gold everywhere.

He never knew droids with gold on their insides.

Taekwoon bends forward, hands covering his exposed chest and letting Sanghyuk get a better look and poke around with his needle-like tool, a small led lamp right by the end of the handle, lightling up every time it makes contact with a point where electricity flows. Sanghyuk has to test his sinapses.

“Feel anything?” Sanghyuk asks, taking a sip of the chocolate just to scrunch his nose at the sweetness. Well, he will just have to find comfort in knowing that it's warm.

Taekwoon nods silently, looking at the TV in the corner. 

A few minutes of messing with Taekwoon’s open system go by, and Sanghyuk starts making questions. “Problems sleeping?”

Taekwoon shakes his head. No.

“Loss of control of your limbs?”

Taekwoon shakes his head. No.

“Dreams or any related occurrence related to your period as a software? Problems to associate complex feelings?” He closes the panel on his back again pulling at synthetic skin to seal it together with some tool take looks very much like a pen.

Feelings? Yes, sometimes.

“Sometimes.” he pick his shirt back, hands clutching the material with some nervousness.

Sanghyuk hums and takes one big gulp of the hot chocolate, let's get this over with as soon as possible.

“Well, your hardware is working smoothly, but I guess the remnants of the mainframe on your memory card sometimes cause conflict with the new system, if you get overwhelmed. You must be having problems associating your own individuality.” Taekwoon nods, sometimes he forgets he is his own self, but only if his mind lingers too much on his past memories. “It's not dangerous, if you start losing memories, then call me and will use my back up and open you up again, okay?” 

Sanghyuk has a teenager smile, and Taekwoon nods again, putting on his shirt again and getting up when Sanghyuk does, walking him to the door.

He does not ask where Wonshik and the flower boy are, and Hakyeon crosses his arms at that.

_ He knows. _

_ They are all liars. _

Taekwoon closes the door and turns off the heating system. He is ok, it's fine. Hakyeon walks up to him, puts his hands on his face, warm and small. 

It's funny how he just likes to touch Taekwoon in any way, how much peace it gives him, assurance he did not know he needed.

“I was so worried. I thought I could lose you again.” Taekwoon is just high enough to fit against him perfectly when Hakyeon sneaks his arms around his neck, and he wonders if Sanghyuk thought about that when he made him. “I’m sorry for taking you there at night, I could have taken you to Jaehwan’s house instead.”

The always-so-worried Hakyeon, always thinking of ways to take the blame. 

Taekwoon chuckles despite himself, eyes softening while Hakyeon frowns. “You should not apologize. It was bound to happen sometime, and I’m glad you was there to ground me.”

Every time Taekwoon does this, every time he tries to soothe down his nerves, Hakyeon feels the need to hide, the need to bury his face on his hands and grunt until he stops being this sweet.

The thing is: he never stops.

So Hakyeon has to crack a nervous joke.

“At least I gathered courage to kiss you.” 

Oh well… this sounded way funnier in his head.

Too late, Taekwoon is blushing slightly and turning his face away.

Good, Hakyeon, now everything is awkward.

_ Goddamnit. _

Silence stretches and Hakyeon feels painfully aware of everything, and Taekwoon just stands there, not very sure of what he should do, or say, to make this any less awkward. 

When his cell rings he is so glad to have  _ something  _ to break the silence that he pick on the first ring.

“ _ Yes?” Thank you. _

The voice on the other side takes him out of his stupor. “Finally! I thought you had died or something!” he seems to be messing with something, maybe a set of tools, maybe a keychain.

Hakyeon's face instantly gets sour.

_ Wonshik. _

_ Is it too late to end this call? _

_ Damn it. _

He wastes no time on greetings. “Are you and the flower boy coming back from Sanghyuk’s house?” 

The noise stops and Hakyeon hears someone snickering in the background.

_ All of them, liars, liars, liars. _

“Hello Sanghyuk.” He chants, and hears Sanghyuk yelling a  _ hello hyung  _ from somewhere a little away from the microphone, he must have just arrived home. “Get the flower boy and come back or I’ll go get you and drag you back here, I’m serious.”

He can hear Hongbin whining, can hear him asking. “How’d know?”

Wonshik is completely silent all the while.

“Sanghyuk came by and did not ask about you or Wonshik. You should know I would notice. Now, bye.”  and it was done, he takes the cellband off and throws it on the couch, clicking his tongue, clearly pissed. 

Taekwoon chuckles and retreats, going upstairs to take a bath and lay down, his knees feel wobbly after Sanghyuk messing with his sensors.

Hakyeon feels like he should go after him, so he does, it’s a good night to make mistakes anyway.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which I do a long chapter and do some research abou stars

When Hakyeon leaves his room, after some debate whether he should enter Taekwoon’s room or not, it’s already late, so late it's almost dawn, but Hakyeon is not thinking about recharging, he can recharge later, he has no one to make breakfast to tomorrow.

Taekwoon is laying on his bed, tablet in hand, reading an e-book of some sort. He could just project it on the wall, but he likes the secrecy of his own tablet better. His hair is still a little wet, and he is wearing some navy blue pants and a gray shirt, looking engrossed and distracted.

Hakyeon almost gives up on calling him, he looks so small like this, there are no shadows in his eyes. Hakyeon rests his head on the door frame wordlessly, and Taekwoon turns his head when the door creaks.

“Don’t you ever recharge?” He steps in sheepishly, small,  careful steps, giving Taekwoon the time to ask him to leave, but he doesn't.

He sits down by the edge of the bed, keeping his hands to himself, searching for a subject that could be discussed at such hours.

“I already did.” Taekwoon smiles faintly, his gaze always so present, always piercing. 

Hakyeon is shuffling on the bed, never quiet, never still. He is a dying star, Taekwoon knows it, so much brighter, but never stable, ready to explode. If Taekwoon was one to romanticize he would dwell on what would Hakyeon form with his explosion, a nebula? Or would he explode in a supernova and create many others stars? 

He is no romantic, unfortunately.

Taekwoon rests his hand on his leg, as if to give him quiet support, stability, he is not good with words, not anymore. Now he has this mass of feelings and thoughts and everything feels blurry and heavy all the time.

Feelings are hard to understand, he knows that now.

Hakyeon does nothing, only quietly looks at him. He is not one to run away, even when his skin crawls like this, even when he feels his chest welling up, tight and warm, as he watches the man beside him smile fondly and reassuringly, and he cards his finger through slightly wet hair, cool and soft between his fingers.

It's always easy, always comfortable, the silence, the company. Hakyeon can feel himself healing, can feel the gaps being filled and mended, can almost forget the shame, the guilt, even if only for now.

Can feel himself falling all over again.

Not for a memory, for a concept, for a threatening guilt he didn't want to touch, afraid it would shatter under his hands, would burn in the light of the feeling he suppressed for so long…

But for this, for solid warmth and soft smiles, for forgiveness and support. A force driven not by fear of loss and guilt, but by the undivided joy of being in silence together, slowing down his own pace to this quiet slow burning thunder, pooling inside him like liquid fire.

He was getting sappier by the minute, how shameful.

There is no need to say anything, words are empty and don't do justice to the freedom of thinking about forgiveness.

Forgiveness he never thought he could give himself.

He laid down asking himself if he was ready to keep walking, if Taekwoon felt the same way he did, because he surely hoped so. 

Taekwoon opened the panel on his neck took the white cable, connected it to the panel beside the bed, then laid down again, making room for them both, pulling Hakyeon close so he would not fall down the edge of the bed, let him fit against him, let him touch his neck, his jaw, the soft skin under his eyes, his eyelids and his brows, wander the tip of his fingers over his face to trace a map in his mind.

So he would not forget, would have something to silence the pain when it blared through him again. 

Hakyeon fell asleep like this, slowly shutting down with his fingers still somewhere around Taekwoon’s face, and Taekwoon let him because he finally found the peace he came back to give.

 

**~+~**

 

Hakyeon woke up to the sound of voices and an empty bed, he can recognize the voices at least, but the bed is cold.

Wonshik and the flower boy are back home, and he does not have any wish to be receptive and loveable until they apologize and drop that idea of doing things to get him and Taekwoon to, I don't know, make out? He does not need this, anyway, not like this. He is angry, and Taekwoon’s absence in the bed just add up to it, because he probably woke up, and Wonshik was there, dragging his bags like the sneaky little traitor he is, and Taekwoon, always a good soul, went down to help him with things.

He gets up, goes down and does not answer when Wonshik bids him good morning, actually he offers one small good morning to Taekwoon only, and asks him if he could help him with the laundry Wonshik just left in the corner because  _ some people  _ don’t even have the decency of doing their own laundry when they  _ run away in the middle of the night _ .

Taekwoon shots Wonshik a soothing glance, and goes after Hakyeon with some clothes on his arms. He hears Wonshik sighing, still messing with Hongbin’s program, to connect him back to the house.

He and Hakyeon leave, going to the laundry in the back, arms full of clothes, they are both silent, but Taekwoon can see the distaste, grumpiness written all over Hakyeon’s face. He really does hate matchmaking.

Taekwoon is silently separating the clothes in their distinct places inside the monstrosity that it this washing machine, quietly waiting until Hakyeon starts rumbling out loud. He will, eventually. He could ask but that would only add more flare to Hakyeon’s anger, he would be harder to tame, then. Especially now he convinced himself Wonshik and Hongbin are doing matchmaking. 

“I can't believe he looked me in the eye and said  _ good morning  _ like he just went out for a walk, not like he ran away for like _a week_.” He stopped handling the clothes entirely. “All this because he wants me in your pants, this kids  _ I swear. _ ” This could take a while.

Hakyeon is not one to usually ramble, complain about others and theirs mistakes, simply because he is not one to  _ care  _ about such things in the first place. But he cannot stop himself from wondering if this matchmaking thing did not come for good, he and Taekwoon kissed, and shared many moments of quiet happiness due to their lack of other things to do, other people to care about, and the idea of enjoying Hongbin’s (and Wonshik’s, to some extent) antics made him angrier than he would be in any other circumstances.

But not with them exactly.

Maybe with himself, for enjoying the experience. 

Taekwoon, being the good listener he was, only looked at him from time to time, doing the task of separating the clothes by type, color and material, like Hakyeon taught him to, sometimes offering a half smile of a soft, understanding look, that made Hakyeon shudder a little while he paced around, but somewhere in the middle of it, he started sighing, as Hakyeon's accusations grew in size, and maybe got a little out of hand, considering he was no longer paying any attention to his own words anymore, and only let himself talk while he studied Taekwoon’s face, who still dutifully separated the absurd pack of clothes Wonshik brought home.

_ Does he even know how to wash his own clothes? How did he managed for all this years? _

Again it’s not like he does this all the time, he is not all that mad anymore, he just wants to gauge at Taekwoon’s reactions, so rich and unguarded, now that his mind is elsewhere, or at least that was what Hakyeon was telling himself to that point, when Taekwoon easily turns to him to get him by the hips, to manhandle him around like he weighs nothing, and put him sitting on top of the washing machine in front of him, and lower himself to his eye level as you would do to a small child when you prepare to have some serious conversation about behavior with them, when you get ready to say  _ no more cookies, and it’s final _ to them.

But no such thing, he only rests their foreheads together, and exhales one long breath, quiet and stable.

There is something suffocating about this action, about this feeling, about this white closeness that makes Hakyon restless, makes him shuffle of his seat, makes him want to run away and run back to bring him closer. So he does what he always does when they are alone and he gets nervous.

He cracks one nervous, rather stupid and misplaced joke.

“Can’t keep your hands to yourself?” Taekwoon opens his eyes at that, and looks at him in peaceful silence, eyes searching, tearing him apart under his gaze, asking him to just  _ be quiet. _

_ How graceful of you Hakyeon, go ahead, make it better. _

Hakyeon always surprises himself with his ability to make a fool of himself, but only, and  _ only _ in Taekwoon’s presence. If this same question was to be asked to anyone else, they would say how exotic Hakyeon is, how graceful, and stunning, and eloquent he was, but here? 

Here “can’t keep your hands to yourself" is the best attempt at seduction he can muster.

Pitiful.

Taekwoon wants only, and only for Hakyeon to unwound, to make himself stop treating him so differently, like he is unstable, like he needs to be tested every time, and he wonders if one simple moment of stupid bashfulness is enough to bring Hakyeon out of his prison, to make him understand that he does not need to mold himself to fit Taekwoon’s definition of properness and quietness because he does not expect this from anyone else other than himself. 

He can be pushy, and control-obsessed, and bossy, and expressive, and the general  _ wildfire  _ he normally is, because Taekwoon is here for that, he was always here for that.

If it becomes too much, he will say it, even if not with words, he will.

He is new to all this, he needs guidance, making choices is hard, and he is willing to offer every ounce of control Hakyeon clearly wants but it’s too ashamed to claim.

He always wondered how could they give each other some peace.

So he gather his courage, and he revises his thoughts, draws them together to steel his mind for this one single moment of sheer, brutal bashfulness, and readies his shaky fingers for this because he can show no doubt.

He is glad that Hakyeon is willing to walk with him, but he is willing to run and crash and burn with him just as much.

Hakyeon needs this vow of trust.

They both need.

It’s not ideal but… It will have to do, for now, at least.

He steps ahead and it’s a little surprising how willingly Hakyeon opens his legs for him to set between them, how his eyes open wide but he does not utter a single word, hands on his arms, steady, looking up at him and waiting, patiently waiting.

And when Taekwoon’s hands reaches out to touch his jaw, just lightly, just a promise of a touch, Hakyeon openly relaxes, and Taekwoon holds him by the shoulder, with soothing caresses to remember him that it’s fine, he is right there, he won’t go anywhere, but…

It’s another feeling entirely when his hands set on his hips, when he rests his chin on top of Hakyeon’s head to hide the small tinge of pink that creeps it’s way up to his cheeks, and somewhere along the way Hakyeon  _ knew  _ it would end like that, but even so it does not prepare him for Taekwoon’s hand slipping inside his pants, ever-so-slowly, giving him the time to deny him, to back away, but he only  _ gasps _ and he is half glad there are no cameras in here but only  _ half glad _ , because he surely would want to see Taekwoon’s face right now, but he won’t ask, won’t taint this moment with his voice.

And Taekwoon’s hand is  _ warm _ , like his face must be, and when he wraps around him Hakyeon strains like someone pulled the string and he is the bow, and he wants to say something, he wants to burst and scream and moan, but… Wonshik is right in the end of the hallway, and Hongbin’s cameras are blinking their customary pink which means he is  _ right there, right outside the door. _ Even if he cannot see inside this room, even if there are no cameras in here,  _ even so _ …

Even so Hakyeon bites his lip and hush it down, Taekwoon’s free hand on his hair, and he moves his wrists just-so and he has to mute himself to stop any noises from coming and it feels terrible, in a way, to be unable to offer Taekwoon the sounds he conquered by his own merit, but he certainly does not want Hongbin asking questions, he is sure that Taekwoon would suffer much more than he would.

So he covers his face with both hands and wraps his legs around Taekwoon’s back because everything  _ burns _ , and he needs, he need something to…

He needs  _ more _ .

So he gets Taekwoon wrist and  _ presses it _ , because he can’t speak, and he need him to understand, and it seems to be enough because soon Taekwoon is picking a pace, hard and fast and shallow and generally  _ messy _ , and he is not breathing himself, and Hakyeon would ask him if he is ok, but he has no voice, he shut it off for the sake of this one moment.

He must only deal with the  _ heat,  _ because this? This is intense like anything has ever been before and he feels like he may faint, but androids don’t faint, do they?

But now every single piece of him seem to be on fire, and he is scared he might really burn Taekwoon but he cannot  _ concentrate  _ and he swears he can distinctly feel every piece of machinery that composes his body and they all might just burst right now.

Right this instant.

Because he is tripping over his orgasm and…

And when he comes…

It’s not in strings of white and a shout of Taekwoon’s name that certainly, he would have uttered many, many times now, and is still doing inside his head. It’s with a dry shudder of his thighs and his weight falling in Taekwoon’s arm, trusting he would pick his pieces, for he may have combusted and did not notice.

But it may be just him, anyway, because Taekwoon is calm, and caressing the small of his back, kissing his hair and Hakyeon feels himself sobbing because it has never being like this.

Never, ever like this.

And he buries himself in Taekwoon’s chest and he is warm, and he is still buzzing when he hears Taekwoon say.

“I may not be able to keep my hands to myself, after all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here, to compensate all the pain I make you go through all the time. I hope you enjoyed. <3  
> And I did revise the whole thing because oh god


	14. Chapter 14

Dinnertime comes around, and Hakyeon just wants to keep his hands  _ busy _ .

He is cutting some vegetables, and Taekwoon is taking care of cooking the rice, setting the table, helping Wonshik, because he cannot find the remote control and  _ why is this house so cold, hyung _ ?!

Hakyeon is stuck on cutting this same carrot for more than ten minutes now, and when Taekwoon’s hand settles on his hips to ask if he is alright he visibly jumps.

Taekwoon removes his hand, as if burned, and Hakyeon holds it in the air with a half-word stuck between his brain and his mouth, and all he can possibly say is a somewhat coherent  _ don’t  _ that sounded much more significant in his mind. So now they are in silence, he has Taekwoon’s wrist on one hand, and the kitchen knife on the other, and Taekwoon looks at him as if he is waiting, but Hakyeon has no words, only feelings, so he lets his wrist go because this conversation will have to wait.

“Let’s go out tonight, after dinner.” He says instead, and Taekwoon mercifully nods and asks nothing else.

Because Taekwoon is there and they have Hongbin, the house does not burn during the process of making dinner, and because Wonshik is tired and Hongbin is trying to behave and show some respect as a way to mend his previous mistakes, none of the previous hand incident in brought to the dinner table.

Hakyeon is a little more willing to forgive them after that.

Wonshik offers himself to wash the dishes because he wants to apologize, and Taekwoon would say he does not have to but Hakyeon says he does, so he does.

He grabs Taekwoon by the hand and leaves, drags him outside, in the blistering cold either of them can feel, drags him to the subway, drags him until he deems them to be far enough and then stops. Stops and looks back, and Taekwoon is looking at him in silence and he is trying to think of something to say, something cleaver, but Taekwoon takes a breath and he is saying. “You look distressed. If what I did today made you like this, I am s-“

“Yes. Yes it did. But don’t be sorry because I’m not. I,” he has too many words, and none of them is enough to convey the feelings he feels boiling inside him right now. “I am not. I am not sorry.”

_ I understand why you did it. I understand what you were trying to say, I do. _

He would say it, but he thinks that he may not need to, Taekwoon probably already knows that as well.

He has been thinking, though, thinking about Taekwoon, more than he normally did, in ways that made his knees wobbly, and his mind fuzzy, and his neck heat up because… If Taekwoon is trying to say that it was ok to want him, that he wants to burn with him then maybe he… Maybe  _ they  _ could work this out.

Before, he only ever wanted to do normal couple things, wanted to hold hands, to walk on the park and feed some puppies because he could not bear to taint Taekwoon’s memory in his mind, maybe he was afraid.

As always, Taekwoon could always see through him.

As he is doing now, looking at him, really  _ looking. _

His gaze falls to Hakyeon’s hand, holding his wrist, and when he looks up again, he hesitates, considering if he should do something or not because none of them are talking and talking is not his thing. Hakyeon is the talking one, he is the exuberant, eloquent one, the one who laughs like sunshine and he just… He just isn’t.

“I love you.” Hakyeon’s voice is sudden and drags him out of his mind, his eyes go up to Hakyeon’s face because he isn’t done talking, apparently. “I love  _ you _ and… At first, I thought I was just clinging to that old feeling I got from my memories of you, and I probably was… I was so afraid of forgetting what I felt in the beginning, how new everything was,” the is a long pause, but Taekwoon is not rushing, he never is. “But now, it’s not just that old shade of you, is not the old memories of you, I love you as you are now and I’ve never even expected to get this sappy please make me stop I’m embarrassing myself.” And he chuckles because he is nervous again and everything seems so serious and Taekwoon is serious, but the hand he rests on his face is warm, much like the comforting smile that comes right after.

“I came back because I wanted to make things right. In a sense, I guess I was just feeling regretful for failing my mission, failing you, Mrs. Kim. I never meant to make you suffer, I probably wanted to mend that, offer myself so I could please you but… I care about you, Hakyeon. I care so much, and I have this feelings all the time, everything is so intense and I almost never know what to make of them.” He sighs, as if his next words are heavy for him to say and his face starts getting pink when he opens his mouth again. Hakyeon forgot to breathe. “I need you to take control of this. I don’t know what I’m doing. Feeling is hard, I need you to guide me.” As if conscious of his own words he lowers his head, worried his lips between his teeth, both hands going inside his pockets because he does not know where to put them and Hakyeon is still not breathing.

Silence stretches. Hakyeon is perfectly still, if not for the blinking every 47 seconds, and Taekwoon looks down at his feet as if they are interesting until Hakyeon can finally come up with something to say. “Aren’t we charming? I thought I was the smooth talking one, Woonie.” He laughs and Taekwoon mutter one shy  _ shut up  _ under his breath.

“I was serious. I need you to-“ this time is Hakyeon who brings his hand to Taekwoon’s mouth, something he never thought he would do.

He hopes his smile is reassuring enough. “I know. Let’s have some fun tonight, I don’t want all our dates to be a failure, alright?”

Taekwoon nods in silence and Hakyeon beams at him.

Taekwoon likes him the best like this, his face glowing with this sincere smile that makes him smile too.

He can get used to this.

**~+~**

They go to this bookstore near the center, and Hakyeon refuses terminally to release his hand, looks at their intertwined fingers like they are a piece of art, and Taekwoon does not have the heart to make him stop. They sit on some sofas, Hakyeon wants to get them something to listen to from the sample library, and is selecting a good title with his free hand.

They settle on a sad story about a woman who runs away from jail and spends all her youth dodging the police and trying to go unnoticed by everyone, so much, she misses many chances in life, important chances. Taekwoon wonders if he is the same, he is not legal, he won’t be able to dodge the Central forever,but this is not a subject he usually dwells on.

He wants to make it right while he still can, not thinking about the Central or his malfunctioning systems.

Hakyeon leans on his arm and drags him out of his thoughts. “What are you thinking about?” he smiles and it looks so much lighter than before. He always wondered if anyone could tell the difference between Hakyeon’s smiles. The ones that come for himself and make him beam like sunlight, and the ones he gives for the sake of others. Taekwoon was never one to think that programs can define how an android will behave in his life, but everyone seemed to brush it off as something natural, never giving Hakyeon the credit for caring so much and needing so little in return. 

“Nothing.” he smiles when Hakyeon frowns and keeps talking so Hakyeon will not start whining and pestering him about lies and secrets and hiding things. “Thank you. For all you do.” and the frown is gone, Hakyeon is silent for a change.

“Ya! There’s no need to thank me for anything, I did nothing to deserve it.” and he slaps Taekwoon arm because he gets like this when he feels Taekwoon is trying to mess with him.

Taekwoon smiles again but remains silent, there is no need to insist on this subject now. He likes this, likes the silence, likes feeling of realness, likes the way Hakyeon plays with his fingers has this face that says annoyance and somethings else.

Something restless, and he would talk about it, soon enough.

He did not forget about their previous talk, he  _ will  _ take control of this, yes. But he need… some privacy first.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be ready, for I may or may not destroy all of you in the next few chapters


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick succession on things to lead to important matters that will be more fun

It's quiet at home, Wonshik went out and Hongbin is messed up with the new power system, so he sleeps almost all day everyday.

Taekwoon asked if he could accompany him, he has to go to Sanghyuk’s house, ask him a few things and update his inner systems. Hakyeon is always willing to go with him, so they go out and tell Hongbin to wake up, Wonshik doesn't have any keys and he will die in this weather.

It's liberating, not being watched, and Hakyeon is quick to grab Taekwoon’s hand, and Taekwoon silently puts their intertwined hands inside his coat's pockets. It's nice like this, the feeling, the comfort. It's not an exaggeration when Hakyeon says he is the happiest now.

He is completely happy just holding hands and walking around, and fixing Taekwoon’s clothes and brushing his hair.

Being the general mom he is with mostly everyone at all times.

Sanghyuk told them to wait, and asked Taekwoon to take of his shirt and blah blah blah _you know what to do._

Taekwoon is lying down on a table, in a very bright room, and Hakyeon is sitting on a corner, as demurely as possible, trying to avoid any disturbance.

Sometimes he forgets to breathe.

Like now, for example.

Taekwoon is never comfortable without his shirt, and Hakyeon is always mesmerized by how _human_ he looks; no junctures, no cracks, no gaps, no nothing, only fluid, harmonic, organic beauty he cannot understand why would he ever be ashamed of showing.

He looks around the room, it’s bright (with all the large windows around) but very messy. Hakyeon didn't see any cameras around, that did not mean anything though, Sanghyuk was every ounce of a talented creator Wonshik was.

Every ounce of messiness too.

Every surface was filled with reusable digital blue paper, pencils, tools Hakyeon could not name, some needles, some pliers, some bottles and a lot of metal scraps.

_Everywhere._

Sanghyuk came back with a mug and some dark circles under his eyes. His hais was a mess, his face was swollen and he yawned every five seconds. Great, another one who never sleeps decently.

Let's all hope his coffee is better than Wonshik's.

He has a laser needle, and a pair of tweezers on his belt, something between a gun and a hairdryer on his free hand. Taekwoon is calm, his only distress being the fact that he is currently shirtless, and Sanghyuk chugs down the contents of the mug to abandon it on a table and reach for some weird glasses that make his eyes look huge.

“So,” he starts, blinking the sleepiness away from his eyes. “What can can I do for you today, hyung?” He yawns the question more than anything, and Taekwoon is tempted to say he wants him to sleep, but manages to refrain himself.

“I see some security droids watching me on the streets. The mainframe must be worried if I was actually terminated, and the similarities between this body and my holographic settings may be unnerving. Can you fake a bar code? I don't want to warn Sasha."

“What is Sasha?” Hakyeon stands up and Sanghyuk pushes the glasses up on his nose.

“She's a satellite, and the basic component of the mainframe, the one who keeps the other terminals working together. She works solely based on the protocols of human protection. I guess Wonshik never explained things properly to you.” His voice sounds drowsy and he quietly starts cutting his way through the synthetic skin on Taekwoon’s chest and arm, turning off his voice box to cut a slit on his nape and plug him directly on the computer beside the table and download the updates. He took Hakyeon’s silence as a sign to continue. “Well, many don't know, but it's not obligatory to have a home software, people just _want_ to have them. I don't have one, never had one, and the Central is not looking for me. It's the reason why none of you has gone to jail yet, to be frank. Technically you don’t have a software.”

Hakyeon’s attention is very much divided between Taekwoon’s open circuits and engines spinning, and Sanghyuk’s explanations of the mainframe.

Sanghyuk catches that quite fast, and smirks before saying. “You can ask Taekwoon to explain the rest to you, he knows everything.”

Taekwoon can't protest, his voice box is off, and his wrists are tied to avoid any unintended contraction of his mechanical muscles, so he merely indicates displeasure with a half-hearted glare. Sanghyuk is very gracious at ignoring him, and keeps talking like nothing happened. “He has some tricks I gave him with his objective in mind, even if he is not domestic. You should be ready for all kinds of secrets, ask him about it some time.”

Taekwoon says something, more like moves his mouth around the words, but there is no sound. That does not stop Sanghyuk from snickering. The are a few things Hakyeon wants to ask him, why did he made Taekwoon an android? What kind of droid he is? Many things he never knew.

“So, how's the feelings recognition, hyung?” He gets the pliers to mess around Taekwoon's chest, the needle already there, a few blue and green sparks being sprinkled around.

Taekwoon mouths the words again, but again there is only silence. From where he stands, he can't read Taekwoon’s lips, but it must be great because Sanghyuk is offering a big smug smile, his voice ringing a little lower when he says. “Of course, I’m the one who made it.” It looks like he is talking to himself, when there is only his voice, and Taekwoon rolls his eyes, but again, Hakyeon misses the action entirely.

“No more overheatings?” Taekwoon shakes his head and Sanghyuk hums, especially concentrated on his current task.

Hakyeon approaches sheepishly, moving as to not let his shadow fall over Sanghyuk’s work, and crouch down beside the table, smiling at Taekwoon mouthing words without any sound. “Why did you shut him?” Hakyeon is curious, Taekwoon’s eyes are carefully closed, he wonders if he is feeling any pain now.

“He always gets kind of vocal when I mess with his sensory terminations, and my head is pounding right now. Don’t wanna deal with that.” He leaves the pliers and looks around for a pair of scissors.

Vocal? That’s something he would like to see. He never spoke much. It must be fun to see him talking for a change.

“I’d like to see that.” he chuckles, and Sanghyuk turn to him, his face very still, looking like he just said something very stupid.

“Yeah, I bet you would.” he says before returning to his work, now on Taekwoon's open arm.

The realization took a moment to sink into him.

Oh… _Vocal._

“Oh… Well that too.” he says, shamelessly, as he sees Taekwoon taking one deep breath, he will never know the reason.

“Hyung, the mainframe does not trust Wonshik, but the Central is not doing anything, not now that Wonshik is working for them again.” Sanghyuk is looking at Taekwoon, who nods at him, he knows about all that, but he is probably just trying to fill Hakyeon on the details. “Even so, they have orders from the mainframe to be wary of you. You don’t have a record on the system, your model is labeled as experimental, that’s why the droids are careful around you. You are my creation, and I count on the system as a creator, I worked for the Central for a few months, they keep me in there in case I decide to go back.” He rolls his eyes, fetching a weird pen from his toolbox.

He releases Taekwoon from the table, pulling at synthetic skin to close him again. turning his voice box on and letting both hands fall on his knees. “Could you make me some more coffee, hyung? I’m sleepy as fuck.” Taekwoon sits up not bothering to get his shirt, he feels a little tingly, and strides out to the kitchen before Hakyeon can offer any help, scratching his nape where the cable previously was.

“So. Are  you and hyung having a thing, Hakyeon-ah?” Sanghyuk spins on his chair, facing Hakyeon still crouching on the floor.

Hakyeon turns his gaze from the door where Taekwoon vanished in, feeling a little surprised at Sanghyuk’s bluntness. “Yes. Yes, we are.”

Sanghyuk gives him a thumbs up and stretches up on the chair, yawning once more, it’s hard to stay awake. “Yeah, remember the secrets I told you about ok?”

 

**~+~**

 

“Woonie we need to talk.” they are sitting on a bench, Hakyeon said they should talk here and not at home, Hongbin makes him… Not as spontaneous as he would like to be. “About our relationship.”

Taekwoon is blinking slowly, Hakyeon has this need to me things unnecessarily complicated, he looks around briefly, it’s already dusk, few people still linger around the proximities, sighs once.

He knows, knows Hakyeon is anxious, notices the way he looks at him sometimes, notices the lingering touches and the soft spoken words.

He is not blind, he’s just… Confused and easily overwhelmed but…

Action can be taken.

It’s not a matter of pressuring him, but a matter of assuring him he can can take it, so he kisses him, slow and soft, and Hakyeon’s brain is now in mid chaos, trying to clutch the words he would say, but they are slipping away from him. Taekwoonn’s lips are moist and taste like something fresh, like water maybe, but warmer, his lips are soft and now he is not under the influence of fear, his mind is clear, he can clearly feel how their lips move against each other, how Taekwoon’s tongue brushes slightly over his parted lips before they break away, before Taekwoon nips his lower lip between his teeth.

“You should not be afraid of scaring me. I’ve seen  worse.” he holds Hakyeon face between his hands and asks what he wants to say, but right now, Hakyeon only thinks that he does not deserve him, that he loves him so much it hurts.

Stupid, stupid Hakyeon.

Taekwoon rests their foreheads together, his cheeks have a little tinge of pink, and his eyes are closed when he says it. “If you want to take me, you should. I trust you.”

 

**~×~**

 

Taekwoon is not that surprised to be dragged around, he gave Hakyeon the right to do so, and he is slightly overwhelmed with how easily he complied and switched from awkward and sorta shy to loud and touchy.

It makes him wonder if he acts like this around his friends too.

“Ah! I love this shop, they have some cute sweaters in here, let’s see some of them!” Taekwoon does not need to nod at this, they are already going inside, Hakyeon is holding his hands so much he is starting to feel things.

He can’t name emotions properly yet, so… Yeah, things, for the lack of better words, or any words at all.

Hakyeon does not release him, it seems like he is afraid that he might run away if he do, the idea makes Taekwoon smile a little, but the joy is short lived, in a flash they are going to the back of the store, and there is a fitting room and the droids working there ask them if they need help but Hakyeon say he has everything under control and pushes them both inside with a pile of clothes Taekwoon did not fully inspect and the door is closed.

And here they are.

Alone.

In this small, bright space.

Everything is white and Hakyeon helping him take his shirt off and Taekwoon has to panic.

He has to.

“ _What_ are you doing?” and he frowns because Hakyeon is smiling and his smile only widens when he asks that.

“Ah, Woonie, relax. I would not show you around this many cameras. I’m just helping you with clothes I chose for you.” Hakyeon has no shame? But it’s ok, he can be ashamed for them both, so it’s a good time to duck his head and hide this redness growing in his face and pretend he did no listen to Hakyeon chuckle.

They are in public for god sake.

Does he know fitting rooms are supposed to be used by one person only at a time? They are too close and Taekwoon has only a second to process he is pushing Hakyeon outside and closing the door, and Hakyeon is openly laughing the whole time and telling him that it’s ok, but he wants to see him in all the clothes he chose for him.

Hakyeon is too happy.

There are no cameras inside this small, white, bright cubicle, which is great because Taekwoon is not exactly ok right now.

Feelings this is hard.

Feeling is hard.

Very much so.

His face is so warm he feels feverish, so he decides to sort among the clothes Hakyeon chose for him in order to get distracted but _what the hell is this thing?!_

Then the door opens again, he is shirtless but his first reaction is to drag Hakyeon inside again and press him against that white all because _they are in public Hakyeon, please behave._

And the second reaction is the realization that he is using force to maneuver Hakyeon around and step away but not very far in this enclosed space before being dragged back by his belt into Hakyeon’s personal space and now he is confused all over again.

_Feelings._

“Did I mention how much I love you moving me around like that?” it’s the words he _thinks_ he hears Hakyeon say but it can’t be right so he frowns again.

“Excuse me? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.” He is shirtless, too close, in a public space and Hakyeon is smiling that smile, you know the smile? _That_ one? Yeah.

Hakyeon’s hands rest on his pants pockets and Taekwoon is getting a little dizzy, it’s happening too fast and too many things and he should not have brought him inside again. _Mistakes._ “You should. You really should.” and so he is pushing Hakyeon outside again, because Hakyeon was getting too confident with that _hands_ of his and they are still in _public_.

Kind of, it’s a fitting room.

“You should decide if you want me in there with you or not, you know.” and Hakyeon is trying to sound offended but failing and Taekwoon is shaking.

_Is feeling always like this?_

Maybe he does need Hakyeon’s guidance in the end... but not _now_.

The droid  working there spares them a suspicious look.

~+~

 

In the end they ran back home, Hakyeon has to work and he completely forgot until Jaehwan called and now he is changing clothes, throwing black with black because black can never go wrong.

Taekwoon watches him hushing around in silence, because you see, this is karma, for cornering him in a public place. Not that he is really all that bothered, just well, _easily overwhelmed_. Yeah… Hakyeon has a funny habit of talking to himself when he gets distracted, and Taekwoon finds it endearing even if he is technically angry.

“This pants make you look like you are working undercover for the government, Hakyeon. Why did you bought them?” Hakyeon is checking himself in the mirror and saying some snarky remarks about his own choice of clothing under his breath. “Why are you thinking about this, Hakyeon? You’re late for work.” Taekwoons snickers at Hakyeon’s antics in front of the mirror, Hakyeon is too busy walking around spraying some perfume and looking for his bag to notice.

“I’m going now, no need to wait for me, bye Woonie.” a quick peck on the lips, and he is out the door, going downstairs two steps at a time.

The door is open…

And then it’s closed.

Something about this is very familiar, comfortable, a feeling of… calmness comes attached to it. Taekwoon smiles to himself, the tips of his fingers resting over his lips.

It’s fine like this.

He can go on like this.

But he can do better, he can visit Hakyeon at work.

Not today, he needs to do some things first, he needs to talk to Jaehwan.


	16. Chapter 16

Hongbin refuses to do anything, he is sick, as he himself refers to his operational problems, Taekwoon keeps him company, reads for him, it’s the only time Hakyeon sees him not grumpy. He even uses his hologram, Taekwoon always says he does not need to, he understands.

This time, Hakyeon can sit with them, can lay against Taekwoon’s arm and hear him speak, something changed, something is out of place. Taekwoon is different, he is distracted, almost never home, does not let Hakyeon go with him when he visits Sanghyuk.

Hakyeon is restless.

At the same time, sometimes he comes around, sometimes he looms over Hakyeon and moves him around with that hands of his, sometimes he buries his nose in Hakyeon’s nape while he cooks and whispers compliments against his skin.

It’s maddening.

So quick Hakyeon can’t even lean back, touch him, reach for him, before he is gone, he can only close his eyes and take deep breaths to distract himself.

Taekwoon is being a tease.

But as he reads, he lets Hakyeon rest his head against him, and everything is peaceful. Hongbin is quiet, listening carefully, and the vibration of Taekwoon’s voice against his ear makes Hakyeon happy. Wonshik dozed off on the second page, and the house is silent, is the first time in three days he sees Wonshik’s sleeping, and aside from Hongbin’s grumpiness, improvement has been made.

Wonshik is a talented creator.

Today he has to work, has to help Jaehwan at the bar, and hopefully take Taekwoon off his head, take his worries about Granny off his head, he misses her immensely every day, and Mr.Kim’s hatred towards him was not helpful at all. If he could at least speak to her, he would be fine, if he could be sure she was eating and sleeping and baking with someone.

Taekwoon finishes the chapter and Hongbin cooler starts spinning, making a light muffled noise. “I have to work.” He sighs, but Taekwoon only nods at him, looking mildly interested, something else occupying his mind. “Woonie, are you okay?” _Are we ok?_

"I'm fine." Nothing changed between Taekwoon and Wonshik, Taekwoon and Hongbin, even Sanghyuk dropped by sometimes to insult Wonshik's projects and have dinner for free, even they were normal. He asked Sanghyuk multiple times if everything was alright with Taekwoon, if he was functioning fine, if they had problems with the mainframe, if something happened. The last time he asked, Sanghyuk said the only unusual thing was him watching puppy videos on the internet because surprisingly it helped him sleep.

Sanghyuk was almost a puppy himself… A sarcastic, obnoxiously tall, cheeky puppy, but a puppy nonetheless. Maybe that's why puppy videos helped him sleep.

But that made the problem of Taekwoon acting weird around him all the more unsettling, he caught himself trying to get Taekwoon's attention through the day, and with the few fleeting touches Taekwoon offered him often, Hakyeon started feeling a very familiar thrill.

Which was bad.

He always had Taekwoon's attention. Always. He never had to do anything to earn it, it was and understatement, he took it for granted, and now… Now maybe he was getting bored of Hakyeon taking his attention for granted, and _that_ was the dangerous assumption, because Hakyeon likes the chase more than anything else, and having the chance os doing so with Taekwoon made him a little lightheaded. Actually, no… not the idea of doing so, but the idea of Taekwoon _wanting_ to do so. The idea of him saying _catch me_. That would be… difficult.

But now he had to work.

He untangled himself from Taekwoon and went to the door, looking back he could see Taekwoon typing something on his cellband.

_Make him pay attention._

He went out without any other word, Taekwoon sighed at his cell, looking at the ceiling.

It was almost time.

 

**~×~**

 

“Ok, what is it?” Jaehwan has his arms crossed over his chest and Hakyeon is confused.

He blinks quietly up at Jaehwan's face, it's was a slow night, maybe he can go dance once they finish cleaning. “What do you mean?”

Jaehwan scoffed that ungracious scoff of his. “You sighed like, eight time in the last hour. What the fuck is happening, hyung? Actually I know, it must have something to do with Mr.Eight.” and the Jaehwan is off to the kitchen.

“ _God._ It's _Taekwoon_. It's not that hard, Jaehwan-ah.” Hakyeon scowls, he stayed behind to help him clean. Technically, it’s his birthday today, the sentient-setting birthday, and without Granny to fuss about it he feels a little off. Wonshik didn't even bother to remember, he had asked Hongbin not to record the date and Taekwoon is not talking to him properly.

He feels a little spoiled, but he can manage. He could tell Jaehwan but he would do that almost a national holiday and that would be terrible, he only wants a hug and someone telling him he is important, is that asking much? Stupid friends.

Talking about his stupid friends, Wonshik enters the establishment with a stupid grin and he _shaved and brushed his hair_. Oh wow, it must be important then.

“Happy sentient-setting-birthday-domestic-droid-thing hyung!” He hears Jaehwan shouting from the kitchen and looks back at him, then back at Wonshik, the few people still lingering around all cheer, but considering how drunk they are, they only did it because they saw Jaehwan clapping.

“What?” He is confused and Wonshik wraps him up in a hug, a tight one. Wow he shaved _and_ brushed his hair for _him_? He must be some celebrity, then. This or Wonshik came straight from work, but he liked to think he shaved just to come see him.

“Happy birthday, Hakyeon-ah. You thought I wouldn't remember didn't you?” He still has that stupid grin on his face in place.

Hakyeon rolls his eyes. “I bet Granny called you to make sure you would remember.”

“In fact she did,” he looks down, his smile turning shy. “But that's not why I’m here, this is mostly Taekwoon's idea.”

Taekwoon?

“And where is he?” He looks around but there's no Taekwoon anywhere.

“I know!” Jaehwan raises his hand skipping up to them, ignoring Hakyeon’s face of confusion in order to shake Wonshik's hand like a good host should. “Hi, I’m Jaehwan.” Wonshik shook his hand with an amiable smile, that Jaehwan returned quite brightly.

But where is Taekwoon?

“Taekwoon-hyung said he had somethings to do before he came.” This voice...?

Sanghyuk?

Wonshik smiled to the door, a mischievous grin he only ever used to be sassy. “Are you even old enough to be here?”

Sanghyuk pushed his arm and Wonshik laughed. “They bribed me with chicken, that's why I came.” He smiled and Hakyeon rolled his eyes, feeling very much offended.

_This kids, I fucking swear._

“Yes, I feel very loved now, thank you Sanghyuk.” Sanghyuk snorted and Hakyeon felt like hitting him, but he couldn't.

“Hongbin is tired but he sent you this.” Wonshik extended his cell for Hakyeon to take.

He took it and pressed the only button on the device, watching a small animation of a dancing giraffe in a party hat, the words “happy birthday” blinking in yellow in the background.

Hakyeon hates yellow.

But still, it’s kind of cute… kind of.

“Hyung?” He turned to a wide eyed Jaehwan, the animation was not that bad. “I take back what I said, he’s totally a ten.”

He was about to ask what the fuck he was talking about when he heard someone whistle and Sanghyuk laugh out loud like he just watched a magic trick.

Oh…

Oh my…

Taekwoon.

He never noticed, but Taekwoon has some strong collarbone game going on, and his arms… OK, let's not talk about his arms. He shouldn't wear tank tops… Specially the black ones. “Since when you have your ears pierced?” Wonshik sounds so far away right now, but maybe it’s Hakyeon’s fault, he feels dizzy.

“Since a few hours ago.” he indicates generally, his hair looking messier than usual, he has been running. He looked breathless, but it’s fine, Hakyeon is, too. “Happy birthday.” he smiles softly at Hakyeon, and Hakyeon’s lids drop and he relaxes, in a way that makes Jaehwan look a little alarmed.

Well, Taekwoon would have to handle things now.

Hakyeon nods. “Any other surprises I should know about?” he looks directly at Taekwoon, who seems to be the mastermind behind all this.

“Not that you should know about. And since you don’t care about your birthday, what about walking with me to the gym, I have things to do, and would enjoy company.” he shakes his head as he speaks, and his hair falls further over his eyes, he looks so… So stunning. He should never brush his hair again.

Hakyeon will personally burn and bury every single hairbrush from their home, and any other home on a five miles radius. “Sure. Let’s go.”

As they leave, Taekwoon gives Sanghyuk and Jaehwan a look. Jaehwan gives him a thumbs up, and Sanghyuk just nods. Wonshik is pretending to cough and snickering behind his hand.

Ok, phase two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have you heard the song "Bad Things"? Because you should.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which there is a lot of sex related issue but no actual sex

They walk up to this gym Taekwoon seems to have chosen at random. Hakyeon half expected to not end up in an actual gym, maybe a dance club, or something, but no.

Actual, serious, functional gym.

Taekwoon gets some leather gloves, and walks silently to the immersion room, Hakyeon right behind him, holding a pair of gloves of his own.

“So… what are we doing in a immersion room?” Hakyeon asks, and his voice sounds sugar coated, he watches Taekwoon closing the door and looking at him with careful, dark eyes.

“I will teach you some basics on self defense.” Ok. Unexpected. “You may want to take your jacket off.” He nods towards Hakyeon cardigan. His jacket is not the only thing he considers taking off right now.

Taekwoon hands are inside his pockets. Hakyeon peels off his cardigan, throwing it out in a corner. “Why the sudden urge to wrestle with me?” Hakyeon looks around the immersion room, there is nothing here, not even cameras. Tempting. But he’ll listen first.

Taekwoon smiles a little at that. “You never know when you’ll need it.” He shrugs. “Come at me.” Taekwoon looks challenging, as if daring him to try to get close.

Except when Hakyeon does he throws him over his back onto the floor with a dry thud of metal against metal, and then he and crouching down, locking Hakyeon's hands in place with his knees, pressing down on his neck with his arm, looking like a threat and a tease all the same time. “Too easy.” Taekwoon snickers and Hakyeon thinks he may be in love all over again.

“I never knew about this side of you.” His eyes have blown dark, and Taekwoon noticed but only smiles, challenge clear. 

When he gets up he brings Hakyeon with him. “You never asked.” And then he is getting away, rolling his shoulders. “Again. I’m not human, don't go easy on me. I know I won't go easy on you.” He wets his lips to smile again, hands inside his pockets again.

“God. You’re so  _ sexy _ .” Hakyeon runs his hands through his hair, closing his eyes to breath through his mouth. God dammit Taekwoon.

Taekwoon walks to him and throws him onto the ground again easily. “No. I’m not domestic. Now concentrate, or I'm gonna hurt you.” Hakyeon only grunts in response.

“I’m surely counting on that.” Taekwoon laughs, shameless, Hakyeon looks at him a bit surprised, he never laughed at his sex-related comments before.

“You laughed?” he seems confused, Taekwoon smiles amused.

“You always do this is public, we are not in public now. We’ll be coming here a lot, you’ll be seeing my collarbones all the time, get used.” Hakyeon is shocked, is this some birthday joke? “Now, let's try the other way around, try to defend yourself, let's see you putting up a fight.”

He never saw Taekwoon saying this many words at once. This birthday joke only gets better. Sanghyuk's voice rings in his head saying how Taekwoon's unit is full of secrets.

Yeah, he can see that.

 

**~×~**

 

“I feel an assortment of different pains in different places.” Hakyeon complains from the spot he remains on the floor, Taekwoon is taking the leather glove off with his teeth. Great. More sexual tension, thank you Taekwoon.

“Thanks to that I know what to do next time. We’ll go slow, I promise.” He gets up just to sit beside Hakyeon where he decided to stay forever, that one spot on the floor is now his new home, the end. “Happy birthday, Hakyeon-ah.” he leans down to give Hakyeon a quick peck on the lips, smiling softly.

Hakyeon sits up, Taekwoon is sitting on his new front yard, but it’s fine like this, Taekwoon can sit on his flowers if he wants to. The only thing is, he’ll have to kiss him again to pay for the imaginary petunias he ruined. 

So he captures Taekwoon’s lips again, with teeth and tongue and Taekwoon makes a sound, a  _ sound  _ that has Hakyeon biting Taekwoon’s lower lip with his eyes closed because  _ god dammit Taekwoon. _ “I love you, Woonie.” He whispers, but instead of blushing and turning away Taekwoon smiles.

“How much?” He cups Hakyeon’s face with one hand when he asks that, he looks so sure of himself, his hands are cool and it’s a blessing because Hakyeon is too _hot_. 

Hakyeon has to force himself to ask. “What?”

Taekwoon gives that amused smile of his again. “How much?” He asks again.

That's it.

_ That's it. _

_ Seriously. _

He pushes Taekwoon onto the floor, and he offers no resistance at all, even if he clearly could, amused smile in place when Hakyeon sits of his chest. “Why you do this to me? Do you want me to chase you? That's what you want?” Hakyeon's hair is a mess now, too. His breathing pattern is all fucked up, and he feels his mind fuzzy on the edges. This training session with Taekwoon feels just like aftermath.

Taekwoon giggles, working his lips between his teeth to make himself stop. Hakyeon is trying. He really is. “Yes I do. Talking is easy, you can say that to anyone. Prove it to me, prove it that you love me. Prove it and I'm yours any time.” He is so calm, Hakyeon wants to fuck this calmness off his face, but he won't give in now, he messed with his pride.

No one messes with his pride, not even Taekwoon.

He wants proof? He will give him proof. He wants chase? He will give him chase.

He will make him ask for it.

This fucker will suffer.

Oh, he will.

“I’m game, you brat.” He smiles, the smiles that could mean two things, war or sex.

In this case it means both.

“Come at me,  _ hyung _ .” Apparently Taekwoon likes challenges, he likes challenges  _ a lot. _

Silence stretches, they hold eye contact too much, Hakyeon thinks he may have to do with Taekwoon what he did to those frisky almost-teenagers he met at the bar last year. Domestication. “You said we will be coming here often.” He looks Taekwoon expression become amused again.

“Yes.” the word rolls of Taekwoon’s tongue like an invitation, and maybe it was, It's a simple answer but sounds so good on his lips. Hakyeon ignores it gracefully.

He hums, no one is asking why he's still sitting on Taekwoon’s chest. “Since we are already here, I want to at least learn something.” Hakyeon’s battery is not all that full anymore, and he feels a variety of pains in places he never thought about. But pride is on the line here.

Taekwoon shakes his head. “I have to take you somewhere first.” His hands set on Hakyeon’s hip to move him, Hakyeon stops the action entirely by covering Taekwoon’s hands with his own and smiling like he knew a terrible secret. He is entirely ready to put up a fight. “Don't you want your present?” It's all Taekwoon asks.

Presents?

“Present?” He blinks a few times, easing his weight on Taekwoon for long enough to allow him to roll them over. 

“Yeah. Present. From me to you.” His hair's a mess and the loose tank top doesn't leave much to imagination, only covering his back under the shoulder blades, but Hakyeon is on the floor, he can see none of that.

“Let me guess, another surprise?” Hakyeon pushes him to the side and gets up, fixing his clothes. Feighting indifference towards Taekwoon and his stupid attractive body. 

Taekwoon nods. “Fast learner aren’t we?” He gets up too, but leaves his clothes as they are. Fucker.

“Among other things.” Hakyeon announces, hands on his hips, smiling as smugly as manageable. 

Taekwoon gives him a look and unlocks the door, extending his hand. “Let’s go.”

 

~×~

 

Taekwoon’s choice is a small cottage on the city borders, that they only reached (or even found) because Sanghyuk drove them, laughing at Hakyeon being thrown to the ground like a sack of potatoes repeatedly. Such a lovely time spent together with friends. 

They reach their destination on dawn, Hakyeon needs to recharge right now. He has 23% of his battery and he won't last long… The cottage seemed dirtier from up close, dirty walls, unkempt garden, broken windows… The kind of place you go to get rid of a corpse or to kill someone.

Dead-people-related-subjects.

Keeps getting better.

Taekwoon steps out of the car and go straight to the door, cleaning his shoes on the doormat before stepping inside, Sanghyuk goes right after him, humming a song Hakyeon saw Taekwoon singing under his breath many times before.

Well, they are already here, right?

Against all odds, the house is fairly clean on the inside. The table near the window has a stack of digital blueprints on top, the carpet is clean, the floor doesn’t creaks. It’s a nice place, it seems fine, even if there is only one brown couch, even if the curtains are too dark and the kitchen is too small. 

“Can you handle things now, hyung?” Sanghyuk asks, tapping away the projection of his cellband on the light green wall, looking over his shoulder at Taekwoon. “I have to go to Wonshik’s. You know what to do right?”

Taekwoon nods at him, looking around, messing with the vases on the shelf. Ugly vases, ugly color. “Yeah, I’ll call you. Just need a few hours.”

And then Sanghyuk is gone, the car is gone. Hakyeon has to recharge right now. “I need to recharge.” he mutters, even if that’s not the question he wants to ask. Taekwoon points at the kitchen and enters one room, his steps loud on the wooden floor. The house must be old. This can’t be real wood.

He better start a conversation. “Why are we here?” Hakyeon drags a chair from the kitchen table to sit beside the power panel, making sure to shout so Taekwoon can hear from the room he is.

The answer is not immediate, he is almost repeating himself when Taekwoon tells him the reason. “To get your present.”

“Which is?” the is a long moment of silence, the white cable is already connected to the power panel when Taekwoon joins him at the kitchen, wearing new clothes. 

“I need you to trust me.” He says, sitting on the table, crossing his arms over his chest. “We don't have much choice, soon the mainframe will come after me. And I’ll need you to be strong, capable of protecting the family in case something happens to me.” Taekwoon's tone makes Hakyeon’s chest tighten, again.

“Wha… Stop that!” he motions to hit Taekwoon’s arm, Taekwoon holds his wrist, grip vice-like.

“Good you have all this fight in you. You’ll need it.” he says, his voice… heavy, low on the back of his throat like a warning.

“Will I?” Hakyeon watches his back as he steps out, their knees brushing on the process.

Taekwoon stops by the door. “I will give you choice. Don’t worry.”

The house is quiet, there are no cameras around, Taekwoon steps away and his feet make the only sound aside from the clock blinking on the wall. 

He needs his battery for that…. Maybe.

**~+~**

 

Hours melt away on the clock, the second Hakyeon feels the heaviness leaving his limbs he gets up, 76% it’ll have to do for now. Taekwoon is sitting on the one brown couch, legs crossed, looking distracted with other things.

But this won’t do.

Hakyeon makes a point by striding up to him and sitting on his crossed legs. “You have my undivided attention.” He leans over Taekwoon, seemingly he caught him off guard. Good.

“You know every droid made by the Central is kept on a leash by the HPP, right? It mean you can’t hit a human, not even to save your own life.” He starts. hands resting aimlessly on his thighs, he really does not know what to do, does he? Hakyeon gladly repositions them on his hips.

“Yes. Hold me tight.” Taekwoon is quick and quiet in complying, Hakyeon hums approvingly, smiling at down him. He is paying attention, he is. “Every droid has the HPP running. What about it?”

“I don’t.”  _ I can kill if I have to. _  Taekwoon’s declaration is soft and secretive, like he just confessed a terrible crime, and it’s trying to come into terms with it. “My present for you is choice.” He looks up from the hands resting on Hakyeon’s hips to his eyes, he is serious. “Do you want me to remove the Human Protection Protocol from you? You’d be your own master. Free to control your own actions.”

In as these years, the voice from the HPP in his head telling him to protect, to serve, to help, became so natural he almost never gave it any thought. He shifted on Taekwoon’s lap, holding his gaze, knees dipping on the couch’s seat. He never imagined his life with free will, it seemed… Unruly, scary, chaotic. “Why? Why would I need permission to hurt?” he whispers, he feels guilty talking about that.

Taekwoon shakes his head. “Not to hurt. To live. Live for yourself, not for others.” he reasons, voice very even. Hakyeon’s eyes look intense but confused. “The choice is yours. I will wait for-”

“Yes.” Hakyeon ends up saying it louder than intended, both hands on Taekwoon’s shoulder, making sure he stays still “Yes.” he repeats, voice lower this time. Taekwoon looks at him in silence.

“Are you sure?” comes Taekwoon’s question. Just like the time he suggested him to connect with his personal system and share his eyes.  _ Are you sure? _

Hakyeon nods. “I always am.”  _ With you I always am. _

It happens, just like this. Taekwoon is getting up, carrying him, hands on his thighs to the table, Hakyeon with his hands tied around Taekwoon’s neck, gasping and clutching at the fabric of his shirt, legs around him to steady himself. Then he is b eing thrown over the table, the sound on things falling on the floor, paper, pencils, a bottle breaks. “Shirt off.” Taekwoon whispers near his ears, rolling up his sleeves.

“I thought you’d give me the control because you didn’t know what to do.” Hakyeon is making a fairly quick job of his button up, even if he is shaking a bit.

Taekwoon looks at  him with half lidded eyes, grabbing a knife from the drawer under the table. “I was just going to turn off your HPP protocols, but… I guess that can be negotiated.” he makes a clean cut on his arms, opening his wrist panel, looking at Hakyeon from the corner of his eyes, his hair is turning into a mess all over again.

“What about this: I turn off the HPP and you turn me on.” He throws the shirt somewhere and Taekwoon laughs, letting the knife fall on the floor once he is done with it.

The bright smile Taekwoon offers make Hakyeon’s breath stutter. “Deal.” he pulls a red cable with his teeth, reaching up to Hakyeon’s neck with his free hand. “Just because it’s your birthday. Stand still.” 

This is easier said than done, Hakyeon braces himself on the edge of the table and hopes for the best, Taekwoon pulls him to his chest to look around his nape because Hakyeon refuses to take his legs from around him and it’s hard to work like this, but Hakyeon is flexible and they manage it eventually... Eventually. He connects the red cable on Hakyeon’s neck and feels him gasp and arch and he has to press his to the table with both hands to make him  _ stop moving around _ . There is a long broken moan and Taekwoon is grateful there isn’t anyone nowhere near here to hear this.

Hakyeon is too shameless.

When Hakyeon stops tensing and gripping his arms like might die he finally lets him go, Hakyeon’s eyes shot open and he takes a few moments to catch his breath. “Wha… What was… What  _ the hell _ …” One arm goes to cover his eyes, the lights hurt his eyes, everything feels numb… Well,  _ almost  _ everything.

“It’s a virus. It’ll mess with everything inside you, but the HPP will record this unit as experimental and shut off.” He unrolls his sleeves and Hakyeons nails draw patterns on the table top. 

_ It feels like fire,  _ like drugs and Taekwoon is so calm so composed he wants to hit him hard, maybe he will once he feels like he can  _ move  _ again; It’s not pleasure exactly. It’s not. It’s over-stimulation, pure and simple, like every single reception terminal off his body is being activated at the same time and everything feels like a mixture of throwing himself in a fire and drowning.

“I’m scared…” he manages between ragged breaths, and Taekwoon looks at him sympathetically.

“I could hold you, but you would scream again.” he reasons, and Hakyeon holds his hand, grunting at his own action, what a terrible idea. 

Hakyeon has to squeeze the words out. “Kiss me.” he surely hopes Taekwoon understood him, he’s not sure he can repeat himself.

He watches as Taekwoon’s sighs, watches him mumbling how he will regret it, watches him bending down, everything is too slow, Taekwoon’s hair tickles his face but it feels like hands running over him. His body tells him he is dying, and when Taekwoon’s breath finally, fucking finally envelops him and their lips touch, it lasts only one second and everything goes dark.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which there is sex and roleplay  
> Thank you for all your love <3

He hits the wall, Taekwoon is too close.

His clothes feel stuffy, but he must keep them on.

“Oh my _god!_ ” He needs a moment, he needs Taekwoon to get away from him for just one second, so he can _breathe_ but his hands are just in the right places and the mirrors… Mirrors _everywhere._ “Hold me up” and Taekwoon lifts him up the floor like he weighs nothing, and between Taekwoon and the wall he just can’t breath, so he just doesn’t. Taekwoon breathes out one “ _like this?_ ” and Hakyeon nods but the words lost themselves on his throat, clawing at Taekwoon back like he’s actually trying to hurt him. Because he is.

_Damn all this clothes..._

They switch places like this, one moment is Taekwoon teaching him how to hold his stance, how to defend himself against bigger opponents, where to aim, how to use his flexibility at his favour.

“Grind down, I need you to… Just…” He gasps loudly as Taekwoon bites down at his neck, grinds their hips together and _grunts_ . “ _Yes_ … Just like _this._ ”

Then the next moment Hakyeon is telling him where to touch, how to handle him, what to do. He is such a fast learner… It's a blessing. Taekwoon’s knees push him up and he braces his elbows on Taekwoon's shoulders, wriggling on his grasp to steady himself. It's hard, biting his lower lip to suppress a moan, inhaling through his nose to fit the feelings boiling inside himself. “Why you always… Wants that… At public places? Couldn’t you… just wait?” Taekwoon gasps as he rolls his hips, Hakyeon moaning quietly right beside his ears, like he is used to this kind of thing. He is still trying to understand why he wanted his end of their bargain to be payed now.

“It turns me on...” He hooks his legs around Taekwoon’s waist, tapping his shoulder lightly. “I can hold myself in place, use your hands.” he feels the hands that support him in place moving slowly, going to hold his face, Taekwoon’s breath on his face, he feels too hot fully clothed like this, but it’s all they can manage right now.

He backs his hands against the wall to push himself forward and roll his hips against Taekwoon’s and feel him losing balance for just a second breathing out a broken _warn me first_ before bracing himself against the wall again. “Where do you want them?” his voice is stuttered and broken, shaken on the edges like his hands and his cold fingers.

For a few seconds Hakyeon does not know what he is talking about, he is about to compliment him for doing such a good job at holding them up, considering the circumstances when Taekwoon asks again, this time he enlightens what he means. “My hands. Where do you want them?”

Hakyeon rolls his hips twice more, one hand on Taekwoon’s shoulder and the other on the wall, the warmth radiating from his back fogging the mirror. “ _Damn_ … Why you have to say those things? It makes me… _ah._ ” the whimper that leaves him as Taekwoon slips his hand inside his pants (tired of waiting for an answer and hoping he is doing things right) is not even a fraction of the quiet ones from previously, and Taekwoon has to shush him to avoid people coming to check on them.  

“S _hh…_ You want people coming in here to check on us?” he whispers, uncovering Hakyeon’s mouth slowly, Hakyeon brings him close for a kiss with the hand he left on his shoulder, clawing at soft cloth with a desperation Taekwoon has seen before.

“ _Yes…_ Yes I do… I want them to see the mess you made of me, I want to-” Taekwoon kisses hard him again to make him _stop talking_ and Hakyeon mewls into the kiss shamelessly, groaning as he bites Taekwoon’s lips and _plead._ “ _Move_ your hand _now._ ” and Taekwoon does move his hand. Hakyeon breaks the kiss again to gasp and hold his neck and breath heavily in his ears like he had been holding his breath the entire time, like he actually needed to breathe, breathlessly whispering the entire time. “ _Faster, I- almost… almost…”_ and when he comes, he cries out in a way that makes Taekwoon think he actually hurt him and then Hakyeon is going limp and Taekwoon has to hold him with the arm that held them up against the mirrored wall and they slide down to the cold, reflexive floor and Hakyeon’s eyes are closed. He feels spent, and sated.

This was such a great bargain. His HPP files for _this._

He smiles lazily at Taekwoon, and sees him relax visibly. “Are you ok?” he asks, brows knitted together in the purest form of concern. _So sweet. Sweet, sweet Taekwoonnie…_

Hakyeon makes a sound, looking at the mirror, taking a in his reflection… The half lidded eyes, the messy hair, the sated smile… Yeah he is ok, he just wished he could have hickies, love marks all over his body, or maybe imprint his own nails on Taekwoon’s back when they do this… That would be great, but he is ok. It’s fine like this too. “I’m ok.” he says, touching his lips briefly, they don’t get swollen, his skin is still unblemished… A shame really. “I love you.” he smiles, sliding bonelessly to Taekwoon and making them both fall back onto the floor.

“What is it?” Taekwoon lets Hakyeon climb on top of him, his arms are useless right now, he is tired. Android or not, he has his limits.

Hakyeon kisses him slowly, once, twice, then his eyelids, his cheekbones, his eyebrows. “Let me finish you off.” he mutters between kisses, hands sliding wordlessly into Taekwoon’s pants and he is not ready, he’ll never be.

“Hakyeon wait… _Ahn…_ ” Taekwoon covers his face with both hands, biting down at his lips as Hakyeon stares down at him with _heat_ in his eyes, and he can only breathlessly gasp now and then and try to keep quiet, because Hakyeon keeps _talking_ and _whispering_ into his ears and he can’t… He just can’t.

Hakyeon hums approvingly at one particularly strained whimper, caressing his hair with his free hand, echoing again and again _It’s fine, it’s ok, cum for me Woonie, that’s right._

When he comes he feels like he might as well be dying, from shame, from that slow fire coiling inside him, from the amount of feelings piling up one after another inside his head… It’s too much, everything is too much, too loud, too _hot…_

They stay on the floor for awhile, Hakyeon nests his head against Taekwoon’s chest with a content sigh, waiting until he calms down, which takes some time. Taekwoon is still trembling slightly when he moves to sit back up, looking down at Hakyeon still on the floor, smiling up at him quizzically. “ _What?_ ” Hakyeon’s smile only widens, his breath catches.

“I love the sounds you make when you come.” _Shameless…_ He looks away and Hakyeon giggles mischievously.

He gets up and offers Hakyeon a hand, eyes still on the corner. “Let’s go home, you have to make dinner.” the domestic android accepts the hand easily.

“Hm, I promised Wonshik we would have chicken pie today. Let’s do this again, some time.” his smiles coyly, kissing his cheek on the way out.

“Hakyeon, behave.” he sighs quietly, letting Hakyeon rest his head on his shoulder and be the silly giggling mess he turns into sometimes.

 

**~×~**

 

Granny smiles at them both by the door, like she always does, and Hakyeon quickly kisses her forehead and looks around for Wonshik.  But he’s nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Wonshik?” He mildly asks, suppressing a smile as Taekwoon almost kneels down to give Granny the hug she demanded from him. It was a relief having her back, and Taekwoon barely survived the incredible amount of noise and laughter her return have caused, he thought maybe he would have to get everyone to a hospital from the pure _excitement_ Hakyeon oozed from every carbonic fiber of his human-made being. This and her almost passing out upon seeing him, and then the tears… Taekwoon still has no mental stability for tears, and he had to hold back the urge to apologize every time he saw her.

She hums, looking around as well. “I don't know Hakyeonnie, he's been missing all day. He said something about his work schedule.” She taps his arm placatingly and smiles at his grouchy expression.

She pulls him to the kitchen and Taekwoon snickers, going upstairs just to find a message from Jaehwan on his cellband, blinking white light to warn him he has more than ten unread messages.

_hey hey hyung, who is it going?_

_~_

_how*_

_~_

_hyung don't ignore me ur hurting my feelings_

_~_

_how mean can you even be?_

_~_

_oh, that's right I have something to tell you_

_It's important_

_~_

_r u and Hakyeon together?_

_~_

_u can't even keep it hands off each other for a few hour GEEZ_

_~_

_call me once it done with the hormones OK, it's about hormones_

_~_

_not mine, urs_

_~_

_hey hyung I found a cat today he looks just like u_

_~_

_I changed ur name on my cell to kitten lol_

_~_

_don't tell Hakyeon he's gonna kill me_

_~_

_maaaan I hate orange it's such an ugly color_

_I mean y’d anyone use orange it's like ugly af_

_~_

_I'm taking ur silence as a signal that u like orange_

_~_

_sorry hyung u can like orange_

_~_

_PS: it's still ugly af_

 

Taekwoon needs a moment to regret giving his number to Jaehwan, then he smiles, and then he starts finding him cute… Almost.

He’ll answer in a second.

Taekwoon is tired, he has to say some things to Sanghyuk, has to deal with the frequent worried look on Wonshik's face. He needs to avoid any _situations_ involving the mainframe. Other than that Mrs. Kim is back and he can't possibly expose her to danger… Things are under control, for now.

Ok. Now he has to deal with Jaehwan. So he calls him. “Jaehwan-ssi.” He hates calling people, he just hates.

Jaehwan’s voice sounds drowsy it’s too early in the morning to call him, for his standards anyway. “Look. Hyung… I didn't mean to say that you can't like orange, alright. It's just ugly, that's all…” Taekwoon scowls, asks himself if Jaehwan is being serious. It's totally possible but… He needs to rethink his priorities.

“Forget about that. You said you had something to tell me.” He hears a rustling sound, probably Jaehwan sitting up on the bed, and a muffled female voice, that Taekwoon recognizes as Jaehwan's girlfriend, Minah.

“I’ll be back in a minute, okay?” Jaehwan’s voice sounds a little distant from the receiver, probably speaking to Minah, and then there are footsteps and Jaehwan obnoxiously loud yawn. “Yeah… How's everything going with Hakyeon-hyung?” He asks sleepily, the sound cupboards being opened, and glasses being moved fills the line.

“Fine.” He answers simply, waiting for Jaehwan to elaborate or let him go do other things.

Taekwoon can hear water, probably Jaehwan filling a glass, and his heavy footsteps as he grumbles around closing cupboards and pulling over a chair. “Good. Can we meet? I have things to say, it could be helpful.”

Jaehwan sounds like he might actually fall asleep at any seconds, Taekwoon makes a fairly quick work at extracting the necessary information from him about time and meeting place and ending the call in clean forty seconds.

He’s staring at the ceiling when Hakyeon sneaks inside quietly, closing the door behind him with a soft click. Taekwoon turns in time to see him climb on top of him, not caring about Hongbin's cameras. He hears more than sees them silently turning away and off, Hongbin has been really cooperative these days. He's not even remotely convinced.

“Can’t you behave? Mrs.Kim is downstairs.” Taekwoon sighs, Hakyeon smirks, mouthing a inaudible   _I won't tell her if you don't._ “Hakyeon.” He sighs, because he can spin them around in a second, but Hakyeon being Hakyeon would probably like that.

He hears Hakyeon giggling, holding his hands up in surrender, even if he's still sitting on his chest. “Don't worry big guy, I just want to ask you a question.” His smile is a sly one, and Taekwoon is not all that comfortable in being called _big guy._ “I have to work tonight, but can we go out tomorrow? I want to buy some things.” He smiles, and Taekwoon nods it off because he never refused to accompany him on his trips to the center. “I wanna dress up nicely for you…” he trails off, gaze falling on Taekwoon’s collarbones, and Taekwoon sighs once again, frowning.

_What does this even mean?_

Hakyeon is off him and out of the door, he sits up and looks at Hongbin’s cameras, eyes narrowing a bit. Hongbin is too quiet. “What is it, Bin-ah?” Hongbin's cameras blink red, and he thinks for a moment that he truly hasn't heard. But of course he did.

“How is it to be in love, hyung?” There he is, pinkish and shimmering, sitting beside the bed because he wants to have a proper conversation. And Taekwoon smiles,he wouldn't be able to explain love.

Hongbin cannot experience love as humans did, the lack of a body to compel him towards others made him unable to relate to the personal need humans had for other bodies, even if for platonic reasons. He enjoyed company, yes, and had complex feelings, yes… but this need was unattainable, and he didn't regret that in the least, only felt curious. The human want of being close, of reassuring themselves using their bodies was… Confusing.

One cannot crave for hugs when They have nothing to be hugged or hug with.

Hongbin never dwelled on love for it made him confused and frustrated.

“It’s weird. In a sense it's similar to the feeling I had for humans, the same sense of belonging I had to the mainframe and the collective mind… but in a selfish way.” Taekwoon drawls, looking at Hongbin as he tries to make sense of his words. The cat strolls inside, skipping to the bed in silence and curling against Taekwoon's leg, butting his head under his hand on a attempt to get attention. It works.

“It must be hard.” Hongbin offers, Taekwoon doesn't deny, it is. “But you look happy.”

Taekwoon Iooks up at the ceiling, feeling the cat purring under his fingers. Does he? He must be. He is worried, worried about this family, so much he sometimes wants to shelter all of them, keep them away from everything, keep them safe. He doesn't care about many things now, maybe enough things to count on his fingers… but… if something happens to them…. To this family, _his_ family...

He will show everyone why he is not _domestic._

“Are you ok, hyung?” Hongbin has the faintly warm glow of his untouchable hand going back and forth on his arm, the cat is gone for he stopped petting it. “Hyung?”

Taekwoon blinks a few times. “Sorry, Bin-ah… I was thinking.” Hongbin grins, that one-side-dimpled-grin of his, the one he uses when he is trying to be mean, but his eyes are too big for that. “About Hakyeon-hyung?” He teases, voice full of unspoken innuendos.

Taekwoon hums, he won't deny, he was… but not in the way Hongbin's coy smirk suggests. Hongbin doesn't have to know. No one has. “He asked you to turn off the cameras so I would cooperate, didn't he?” Taekwoon asks, looking at Hongbin’s holographic face, he knows he prefers like this.

Hongbin nods unabashedly, dimpled smiles and crinkled eyes. “He said he’ll give me a new drone to take pictures if I do as he says.” _This kid is a mercenary._ Taekwoon sighs, he doesn't have it in him to be mad at anyone, he's not even surprised. He nods, and that's all.

There is a knock on the door, Hongbin vanishes, like a small rabbit upon hearing a predator, and Wonshik steps in. Oh, yeah, they had a fight… Right. “Hyung-... Hongbin was here wasn't here?” Taekwoon nods and Wonshik tsks muttering one _spoiled brat_ under his breath. “Anyway. Guess what?” Wonshik sits by the bed, one hand on Taekwoon's thigh, like he owns the place. Well, he’s a creator, so it's normal. Taekwoon hums questionly, knowing Wonshik doesn't need much to talk when he's hyped like this. “I discovered a new fuel! And I can do better batteries, now! Finally that brat Sanghyuk will stop bragging about his termal-induced batteries! Fucking finally.” He falls to the side, on Taekwoon's leg. He clearly hasn't slept in a few days, his eyes are bloodshot and his hands are shaking from caffeine.

Taekwoon smiles and sighs. They are all children. “Congratulations Wonshik-ah.” His smile remains in place as Wonshik's eyes widen at the nickname. God, his eyes are so red… “Why did you and Bin-ah fought?”

Wonshik does this angry snarl and scratches his head. He’s just pissed. “He said I messed his inner circuits. I'm the one who _made them._ ” Taekwoon hums again, petting Wonshik’s hair as he was doing to the cat. “You should sleep.” he mumbles softly as Wonshik shrinks under his fingers.

He grins, leaving Wonshik and his confusion behind. It's not like he is against touching people, or offering comfort… He just never has the chance to, and Wonshik laid on his leg willingly.

Oh, yeah, the laundry.

Hakyeon is downstairs reading his pad, the screen is projected on the wall as he goes over options of dishes they could have for dinner. Mrs. Kim sits by the table, offering her comments. As he enters, both stop to look at him.

He halts on his way to the laundry, laundry basket on his arms, blinking slowly. “Woonie. Come here and give me a hug!” Mrs. Kim moves her hand over a signal for him to come closer, and he leaves the basket on the floor before doing as he is told. He has to bent over to hug her, she is too small and is currently sitting. She smells like soap and cotton, and keeps patting his back as he hugs her, when he backs off he notices the way her eyes are watering.

Oh…

Oh no.

“Mrs.Kim…” he frowns, raising his hands and not knowing where to place them, Hakyeon is by his side in a second.

She chuckles embarrassedly, tapping his arm comfortingly as his face gets more and more worried. “Forgive this silly old lady, Woonie. I missed you, my boy. Just that, don't mind me. I'm happy you came back. I have to make a cake for that Sanghyuk kid, invite him over Hakyeonnie.” She tells Hakyeon as he rubs her arm soothingly, it's weird seeing him so quiet. He smiles warmly at her, nodding briefly. “I will.” He tells her.

“I’m sorry.” Taekwoon says, holding her hand for he has little to no idea of how to comfort crying people. Does he hug her? Should he? What if she does not like to be touched while she cries? What if he hugs her to tight? She's old… how does one handle old people? Like babies? Do babies and old people work the same way? Probably not.

She sniffs and pats his arm, a caring, kind smile on her face, shaking her head to dismiss his discomfort. She's a kind woman. “Don't be. I'm all better. Where is that very messy and a little sleepy grandson of mine? I won't let him overwork you and Hakyeonnie. “ she says looking over to see Wonshik's empty room.

“He must be sleeping, he's very tired, besides, Hakyeon and I enjoy having things to do.” He says, sitting beside her, sparring her of the effort of having to look up to talk to him.

She looks at him and smiles once again,  it's so good to have her back. He knows how much strength she gives Hakyeon with her presence. “Look at you… all grown up and handsome. Should I wait for a line of woman wanting to marry you on the front door?” She cooed softly, petting his hand, smiling proudly to him as she did every time Wonshik shaved and brushed his hair, simultaneously. He felt oddly important.

“No, Mrs. Kim. I don't think so.” He mentions sheepishly, hearing Hakyeon yelling from the living room.

“Woonie, where are you?” Taekwoon excuses himself to go to the living room. Hakyeon is sitting on the couch. “Sit beside me.” He indicates, tapping the spot beside him.

Taekwoon walks around the table to sit where Hakyeon asked him to, and as soon as he settles down, Hakyeon takes both of his hands, smiling softly. “Woonie… Sanghyuk is coming for dinner, can you please avoid conflicts between him and Wonshik? You know how they are…”

“You should talk to Wonshik.” Taekwoon is looking discreetly as Hongbin's cameras turn off silently. Maybe this arrangement between him and Hakyeon would be useful, in the end.

“Why?” Hakyeon is worried. He is always worried, and Taekwoon has to hold himself up, and bite back a smile. “Did something happen?”

Taekwoon chews his bottom lip, putting up his best serious face. “He and Hongbin had a discussion, you know, Hongbin is kind of mean sometimes.” Hakyeon is up to his feet before he has the chance to explain why they fought. “Can you deal with Hongbin? He likes you more.” He nods wordlessly, even if he doesn't believe that statement to be necessarily truth.

Hakyeon goes upstairs and Taekwoon trails after him silently, hands inside his pockets as walks behind Hakyeon to his own room, where Wonshik still lays on his bed, messing with his cell and playing a silly game about numbers. “Son, we need to talk!” Hakyeon intones, arms crossed, Taekwoon lowers his head to hide the amused smile he sports on his face.

Wonshik turns around on Taekwoon’s bed, looking over his shoulder from where he laid with his back turned to the door, sleepy and a little confused. “What the hell are you talking about, hyung?”

“Don’t talk back to me, young man. You see, I heard you had I fight with your brother.” he taps his foot impatiently on the floor, looking very much angry, eyes narrowed and lips pursed in a thin line.

Taekwoon leans against the doorframe, watching the little exchange quietly. Wonshik remained clueless and sleepy. “What brother, hyung? I have a little sister. Are you ok?”

In a second Hakyeon crossed the room and is now sitting on the edge of the bed, hand in Wonshik’s arm as Wonshik himself looks at Taekwoon by the door, silently asking if he should be afraid or worried. Taekwoon shakes his head. None. Wonshik’s scowl only gets worse. “You see, son. It’s normal to have discussions with our brothers, it’s part of growing up and living together.” he starts, soothing. Wonshik only blinks slowly, maybe he should do something? “But that doesn’t mean we have to stop talking to them, right darling?” he turns his head to Taekwoon by the door, who lowers his head again and snickers, giving him a thumbs up. Whatever you say Hakyeon. “See? Your father thinks so too.” he smiles.

“Wait, are you talking about Hongbin?” Wonshik sits up, partially, elbows resting on the mattress to stare at Hakyeon as he tries to make some sense of his words. It’s hard, it really is.

Hakyeon smiles, kind, one hand on Wonshik’s shoulder. “I hope you and your brother can work this out with a nice and civilized conversation, alright?” Hakyeon suddenly gets up, Wonshik jumps a bit. “Ok, now I have to make dinner. Call for me if you need anything, son.” He smiles once more, and then he stalks off.

“What just happened?” Wonshik is waiting for and explanation, expecting Taekwoon to be the sane one and make some sense of this occurrence, but he just says. “Just talk to Hongbin, ok?”

_What… the fuck?_


	19. Chapter 19

Taekwoon agrees on talking to Hongbin, but opts for doing it after Sanghyuk’s departure, which takes longer than expected, because he and Wonshik just  _ had  _ to discuss thermophysics and the laws of protocol creation for sentient beings.

Yes. They  _ had _ to.

Sanghyuk goes home way after Granny's curfew, she's already in deep sleep once they manage to separate them and make him  _ leave  _ the house. Wonshik falls asleep on the couch and Taekwoon carries him to his room because he is this much of a nice person. Hakyeon announces he will retire to his room, and leaves after a long and intense kiss and an invitation to his room.

The clock and the sound of his long exhale are the only sounds filling out the kitchen. “Bin-ah” he says softly, and Hongbin appears shyly on the dark room, right on the other side of the kitchen table.

“Yes, hyung?” He asks, bleeding pink and white glow over the furniture. 

Taekwoon rolls up his sleeves and goes to the sink, to wash the dishes. “What happened between you and Wonshik?” 

Hongbin looks down at his hands. A long moment of silence slips by, but no one is complaining. “He is so selfish. He thinks I’m mad because he messes with my batteries but I don't care about that.” He looks pissed, but not terribly so. “He never answer my questions or notices if I’m sad…” Taekwoon hums because that's the most he can do. “He only cares about you and Hakyeon-hyung… Not that I’m complaining, I care about you too... I don't know… I guess I'm just lonely now that you are not here anymore.” He sighs and Taekwoon stops, turning to him and drying out his hands on his pants. 

“Bin-ah…” he trails off, sighing as well, shaking his head after a moment of consideration. “Why would you think I'm not here anymore?” Taekwoon pulls a chair to sit beside Hongbin on the table, his face softens.

Hongbin shrugs silently. “It's not the same. I'm all alone most of the time now and… well, you and Hakyeon-hyung…” he does this gesture, rolling his wrists to indicate his and Hakyeon's relationship. “I feel a little lonely. I guess Wonshik just payed the price for it.” 

He is a nice kid, Hongbin. He is just… well he has a lot of things going on. Taekwoon shakes his head silently. “You can always come to me, Bin-ah.” He smiles, a little sadden that Hongbin has to deal with complex feelings being a software. “You know that.” 

“I know, hyung… but we barely speak anymore, I guess I just needed permission.” Taekwoon nods at him, sometimes he has to remember himself that with feelings, and their ever-changing nature, it’s important to reassure the other part of their presence from time to time. 

“You have permission, ok?” Hongbin nods and he goes back to cleaning up the dishes. “Now cheer up.”

 

**~×~**

 

Taekwoon wakes that day with a cat on his pillow and Wonshik downstairs, engaged into a conversation with his grandmother about the importance of shaving regularly. Hakyeon is laughing.

He slept on his yesterday clothes, but his shirt is open now, it wasn't open yesterday.

There is something written… With eyeliner… 

_ Don't forget you promised to go out with me today. _

_ xoxo Hakyeonnie _

 

Alright. He didn't, but ok, duly noted. 

Sliding off bed, he goes to the bathroom to clean his chest. A quick glance to the mirror confirms his hair is just as much of a lost cause as he imagined, tousled over and making him look like a fugitive. Lovely.

The door snaps closed and he knocks a bottle of cream soap to the floor, cursing lightly under his breath.

_ Hakyeon. _

“You scared me…” Hakyeon smirks but doesn't apologize, leaning against the door, hands holding the doorknob and silently locking it. 

Taekwoon has no time to quirk and eyebrow, for Hakyeon is already crossing the small space into  _ his  _ space, easily catching his guard down, throwing him against the nearby wall with little to no effort. “Morning boy toy.” He smiles against Taekwoon’s neck, hands smudging down the black stain on his chest. “Slept well?”

Something is off. Hakyeon is… different…  Too calm…

“Hakyeon are you ok?”  his quirked eyebrow turned into a full blown scowl as Hakyeon’s smile morphed into  _ something  _ else. Something he couldn't quite name, something between a smirk and a glare. 

“I don't know what you did, but Wonshik and Hongbin are talking again, he is even scowling disdainfully at Wonshik's complains about his super hot chick-supervisor again. All is well.” he leans his head against Taekwoon's neck, exhaling softly. “Sometimes I get sad for Binnie.” 

Taekwoon is still confused but ok, let's humor Hakyeon a bit. “Why?” he settles his hands on Hakyeon’s hips, ready to avoid any attempt on sex so early in the morning.

“It must be sad… he should be turned into a droid, like you.” he rubs circles on the small of Taekwoon’s back, sighing softly, pushing Taekwoon's opened shirt down his shoulder slowly. 

It's not that easy, Hongbin was never a part of the mainframe, his operational systems were created from scratch and he is already sentient… It would create a double personality problem, it would be terrible. “You know he doesn't mind. You're only complaining because he does not feel romantic attraction, nor any sexual impulse you are so interested in.” He let's his shirt pool by the floor, eyeing Hakyeon disapprovingly as he pouts. “Can't even keep your pants on.” He teases softly. “Still a teenager I see.” 

Hakyeon is a little less amused by the comment, offering him a judgmental stare. “Yah! You make it sound like I'm a nymphomaniac!” He steps back and Taekwoon laughs openly, his shoulders shaking as he watches Hakyeon put both bands on his hips. “Tell me I'm wrong.” he nudges Hakyeon’s shin with his foot, leaning against the sink and watching carefully as a still angry Hakyeon steps to him him to hold him lightly by the shoulder.

“You're wrong.” Hakyeon barely whispers, close to his jaw, gingerly trailing his hands up to his neck and resting his weight on Taekwoon, letting him support both of them.

“I'm I?” Taekwoon lets him be, lets Hakyeon’s nails scrape his scalp silently, paying close attention to the way he hums, purposefully slow. “What will you buy today?”

Hakyeon remains silent for a second, seemingly pondering the answer to Taekwoon’s question, fingers threading through hair in quiet appreciation. “What do you think I should buy?”

Taekwoon remembers something about Hakyeon saying that he wants to dress up nice for him, but he's not sure of what he meant by that. “I don't know. Anything you like.” He has no specific taste on clothing, he enjoys things that feel nice to the touch, he likes comfortable things, he likes Hakyeon. Any permutation of this three things will certainly please him. 

“We’ll see then.” Hakyeon smiles and there is a knock on the door, too strong for Granny.  _ Wonshik. _

“Are you two decent?” They can both hear the smile on his voice, and Hakyeon is the first to answer.

“Can't you see your father and I are having a private moment, son? This is very rude of you.” Taekwoon snickers again and detaches Hakyeon off him, opening the door. Wonshik is sporting a small frown when Taekwoon’s messy hair, open shirt and stained, bare chest greet him good morning before his mouth does. 

“Everyone is wearing pants, if that's what you're interested in.” Taekwoon laughs softly, he meant it as a joke, really, but Wonshik turns awkward in the blink of an eye.

Hakyeon laughs openly and barks one light-hearted  _ for now  _ that has Wonshik coughing into his hand to cover the light pink color heating his face. He is not used to all this… Um, objectivity? In the morning.

Taekwoon announces he can use the bathroom if he needs to, he can clean his chest downstairs on the kitchen sink, trying to be placating and Hakyeon trails behind him whispering something in his ears that make him push his hands away and hiss one  _ behave  _ under his breath.

Hakyeon never behaves.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which there is fluff and tiny bits of pain

They go out just as planned, and then Hakyeon is dragging him downtown to the place where he usually buys all his clothes in. Hakyeon already has too many clothes on both arms, but he asks Taekwoon to find something he will look cute in, something he likes.

Taekwoon sighed for the third time now. He’s too… not fashionable.

Ok, but what would Hakyeon look nice in? _Everything_.

Hakyeon is lean, and soft and nice, and smiley and bright… Things looks nice on him, Taekwoon on the other side… Well, he can’t help but feel a little ungracious, a little too dark, even if people keep on saying he is good-looking he feels… Normal, just normal. But that may be a byproduct of having the same face glued to his skull at all times. Did that made sense?

_Sofwares feelings I suppose… Oh, yeah, Hakyeon’s clothes…_

He knows Hakyeon is a little embarrassed of his joints, so something with sleeves would make him happy… Hm, he likes light colors, simplicity, classiness… Clothes that accentuate his lean frame.

There is a creamy turtleneck beside some dark coats, he reaches out to touch it and it’s feels really soft… Like the soft fur under the cat’s belly. Which is one of his favourite things in the world.

But that’s a secret.

He gets the racket, checking the size briefly before walking to the back, to the fitting rooms, just to find Hakyeon undressing with his door open. _Why? Why so shameless?_

“The door is meant to be closed while you change, Hakyeon-ah.” he sighs and hangs the turtleneck on the open door.

Hakyeon looks over his shoulder, smiling softly at Taekwoon’s comment. “I wanted you to find me easily. Why? Jealous?” He winks at him, and Taekwoon has no time to formulate a retort for Hakyeon, as he already has more to say. “What did you chose for me?” His eyes fall on the turtleneck in an instant, his smile only widens. “Oh~ So elegant! Do you find me elegant Taekwoonnie? It's so soft!” Taekwoon smiles calmly as Hakyeon holds the turtleneck in front of his reflection on the mirror. He is so excitable.

Then Hakyeon is shooing him outside, closing himself inside the fitting room and telling him to _go sit down and wait_. Taekwoon mildly wonders what goes through Hakyeon’s mind that makes him so bright and sunny. He sits, thinking about nothing in particular, until he hears Hakyeon announcing him that he will come out now, and he should close his eyes.

And he closes them only to humor Hakyeon further, sighing and waiting. He has to open them when Hakyeon sits over his legs with a happy smile though. “What do you think?” His arms go around Taekwoon’s neck, and wait for him to say his mind.

It's a nice fit, Hakyeon’s long neck looks very elegant in this, the material is soft on the tip of his fingers and Hakyeon seem to be comfortable inside it. Maybe he should have taken the black one though, it would match his eyes and hair so nicely, but the contrast between his warm caramel skin and the creamy color of the turtleneck blend in nicely too… Yeah, it's pretty like this. “You look nice.” He smiles fondly at the way Hakyeon beams at him, eyes filled with many things, many warm things. Then he's leaning in, kissing him softly, once, twice, thrice, making more noise than necessary, sighing into the kisses and squirming on Taekwoon’s lap because he can't seem to sit still.

“Taekwoonnie… I love you. Do you me believe me now? What do you want me to do to prove it that I love you? Just ask, I’ll do it for sure!” Taekwoon hums appreciatively, fingers running through Hakyeon’s hair to make him stop moving around so they can kiss properly, the other hand resting on the small on his back to make him stop squirming so much.

He has only two hands, unfortunately. And Hakyeon cannot be contained, nor stopped apparently.

“I believe you.”  his smile is contained, the store may be empty but there are still cameras everywhere, and Hakyeon sitting on his lap is already too much of a reason to look at them. “Hakyeon…” Hakyeon is perfectly content against his neck, Taekwoon can feel the smile against his skin even if he can't see it. "I have something important to discuss with you…”

Hakyeon sits straight again, his smile set in place, and Taekwoon feels guilty for ruining the moment but this conversation must happen at some point. “Not here, let's go outside, ok?” Hakyeon agrees easily, only comments he needs to pay first, he’ll go home wearing the turtleneck Taekwoon chose for him. Taekwoon watches him go, looking around silently, his smile slowly dying as scans the place.

He feels watched.

But he has no time for that. In a second Hakyeon is calling him by the door, sporting his new creamy turtleneck and black leathery pants with a smile, he links their arms together the moment Taekwoon falls by his side, head on his shoulder.

“Hakyeon-ah… Soon I’ll need you to be strong for me.” Taekwoon mention, looking at the dome above them. “I know you can.” And he does. Hakyeon will do whatever it takes to protect this family, much like himself, he surely hopes he doesn't need to, at least not now. He just wants a little more time, wants to live in peace for a little longer.

But with choice comes consequences. And consequence is sure to come.

“Yah! What's with that talk?” Hakyeon graces him with his typical expression of discontentment and a swat on his arm. “Seriously, you sound like you're giving a funeral speech.”

He has to hold his own bitter smile at Hakyeon’s word, because maybe he is. How did things turn out like this?

 

**~×~**

 

He stops by Jaehwan's bar on the beginning of his shift, few people linger around at this hours, the small gap between lunch and dinner that has everyone either sleeping or using sunlight for something decent.

“Jaehwan-ssi.” He greets Jaehwan from the door, and Jaehwan almost throws a glass on the floor when he sees him walking in.

The smile on his face is too big for a man working at lunchtime. “Kitten-hyung!” the urge to roll his eyes at Jaehwan is strong, he almost misses Mr. Eight… Almost.

If Jaehwan called him here to chat, he will change the order of all the bottles on the shelfs before he walks out. He knows Jaehwan organizes them alphabetically, Hakyeon told him. “What did you want to tell me, Jaehwan?”

Then Jaehwan is telling him to follow him and they are walking to the back of the store in some dark corner by the beer crates and Jaehwan is leaning in to whisper to him. “Some guys came by and asked about Hakyeon-hyung… I mean, under normal circumstances this would be, like, everyday stuff but… They wore suits and had badges and… I don't know hyung, is Hakyeon in trouble?” Jaehwan seemed so concerned, so sincerely worried Taekwoon broke down a small assuring smile. Those who cared were also his friends.

They might be all in trouble. All of them.

“I'm glad you came to me first, Jaehwan. Did you tell this to anyone else?” Now he leaned in as well, Jaehwan shook his head, the worried frown on his face made him look child-like. “Then don't. If asked you don't know me, you don't know Hakyeon’s acquaintances and never spoke to him about it, do you understand? I don't want you involved.” He speaks very slowly, but with the way Jaehwan's frown deepens, he might as well be talking another language.

“Why? Did something happen? Can I help you?” He's a good kid, Jaehwan. It's good to know Hakyeon has such good friends to help him.

Taekwoon’s smile is sincere one, he looks Jaehwan in the eye, even if he hates doing that, because this is very serious and Jaehwan don't deserve to suffer for a problem that isn't his. “No. I don't want you to lie. But believe me when I say I’ll help Hakyeon in whichever way I can, ok? Don't get involved with this more than necessary, Jaehwan.”

“What’s going on, hyung?” Jaehwan’s expression is torn between worry and confusion. Maybe a little bit of hope, hope of Taekwoon telling him what’s going on. But he doesn't.

“Don't worry about that. Be careful, Jaehwan.” He briefly glances at Jaehwan on his way out, he looks so lost. But it's better if he doesn't know. He doesn't have to.

He calls Wonshik, they need to talk. They have no time. However he needs to do something important first.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for my dear Silver for beta-ing for me :)  
> Much love to you darling <3

Tonight Hakyeon has to work. Tonight is one of the nights that has Hakyeon busy all the time, too much people.

 

Busy night.

 

But even so he can't seem to concentrate. Taekwoon was gone the entire day. Wonshik looked restless. They are keeping things from him, Granny noticed too. Wonshik is a terrible liar, and his fake smile looks so awkward it's a mystery why he even tries. Sanghyuk being Sanghyuk, came uninvited and he and Wonshik locked themselves in the study upstairs for hours. They were still there when Hakyeon went out to work. He considered calling Jaehwan and telling him he wouldn't come. But tonight is, after all, a busy night and Hakyeon wouldn't leave Jaehwan to deal with this many customers alone.

He had this girl, that made him repeat her drink three times now and still the words lost themselves of their way to comprehension. Jaehwan rests his hand on his shoulder and tells him to take a break, he can manage things for a while. It's not like Hakyeon is being of any help anyway. Hakyeon begrudgingly accepts his offer. He is not really helping and some air would be useful. At least as useful as air could ever be for him, which is not very much. But hey, things can't get any more cloudy.

It's getting warmer these days. That's great, it means Wonshik will be less grumpy. He likes springtime, even if he has a clear preference to autumn, he usually says spring is not bad. And it's easier to get him out of bed, which is a blessing in itself. Besides, Hakyeon likes flowers, they’re pretty and smell nice. Even the artificially cultivated flowers from the government are nice.

He leans against the brick wall in the alley outside and takes a deep breath. Fresh air entering his systems and going out, warmer but unchanged. It's a nice feeling, but he hears steps. He wishes he had time to do something, but he doesn't. He's being dragged to the darker part of the alley, a hand over his mouth.

Hakyeon is already accessing all the things Taekwoon thought him on their training sessions when a familiar voice whispers one calm down it’s me against his neck and he goes limp at once.

Taekwoon slowly uncovers his mouth expecting him to be quiet, but he doesn't. “What the fuck were you thinking?! You almost gave a heart attack! Yah! Where wer-” Taekwoon shushes him again, hand over his mouth. He can't make out his expression in the shadows. He doesn't see well in the dark, HPP or not he still has his domestic limitations, and that does not involve the need for nightvision.

“You know I love you, right?” Taekwoon brings their faces closer, so he can whisper. Hakyeon is always so loud.

He feels more than sees Hakyeon nodding in his hold, his own eyes closed and cast down. The blaring music inside is vibrating the soles of his feet, his head hurts.

He wants this to be different, wants more time, time to do things right. He can't. “Hakyeon-ah… listen carefully… you remember why I trained you, all these weeks?”  He watches as Hakyeon frowns, nods slowly. “I said a time would come, where I would need you to trust me completely. This time has come.” Hakyeon’s loose grip on his shoulder becomes vice-like, fingers digging into flesh, nails toring into fabric. “Let me finish. They know. The Central knows. There's only one thing I can do to free us all, come home. We need to talk.”

Hakyeon is shaking but that's okay, fear is good, fear can keep them alive.

He has to warn Jaehwan.

 

~×~

 

Hakyeon opens the door to Wonshik pacing around, biting his nails. Sanghyuk is sitting on the floor, working. The coffee table covered in scraps and tissues, some of them have blood. He can see Sanghyuk's fingers haphazardly rolled into Band-Aids, result of a job done in a hurry. There is a clock projected on the wall, a counter.

 

TWELVE HOURS.

 

Twelve hours for what?

 

Wonshik yells. “Grandma Kim, are you ready?”

Granny?

 

“No. I need you to assure me you’ll all be fine.” Her eyes are puffy, she must’ve been crying… Wonshik hugs her and hopes it's enough of a promise, because he doesn't know. “I can't lose my boys again, Wonshikkie… I’ll die from it if it happens again." She hugs each of them. Hakyeon has no strength to say a thing, if he opens his mouth he'll start screaming. The feeling of not knowing is physically painful. The sight of Taekwoon bent down to hug her, petting her hair and whispering encouraging words makes his heart contrict. He saw this before, on a different stage. Right before Taekwoon's…

Wonshik says he will take her to his father. Sanghyuk doesn't stop tending to his work, has he heard anything? Probably not. Where’s Hongbin? Taekwoon is tapping Sanghyuk's shoulder. He doesn’t look up, but nods, Taekwoon gets a key from the couch and marches to the door. Hakyeon right after him, walking to Sanghyuk's car. He doesn't ask if Taekwoon knows how to drive, it doesn't matter.

 

They end up in Sanghyuk's house, Taekwoon opening the front door and ushering Hakyeon inside. There, in Sanghyuk's living room, Hakyeon finally found a his words again. “What’s going on?” Taekwoon paces around, opening drawers and fetching seemingly random items.

“I have to get some items for Sanghyuk, so he can finish making changes into Hongbin's functionalities.” He gets to cables and a weird pair of scissors, a needle and two injections. “Then I’ll undergo an adaptation, and one of Hongbin's new terminals will be installed in my separate drive to guide me during… Well, the procedures. I’ll need it once the Central comes.”

 

Wait… Is he…

 

“So you’ll shield us at the cost of your own life… again?”

“I don't plan on dying.”

 

 His answer is simple, he’s calm, doesn't stop walking.

 

“Why? Why will you leave again? Stop walking and look at me!” 

He steps to Taekwoon. Arms crossed, Taekwoon is looking at him, he is tired, his eyes are glossy, like glass beads.

“I need to.”

 He looks at Hakyeon like he is trying to convince both of them. Hakyeon takes everything of his hands, throws into the couch, He won’t have this excuse of truth, not again. He is shaking, all this… It’s repeating itself.

 

He can’t let him… Not again. 

 

“I can’t lose you again. I’m selfish…” 

 

Taekwoon has his hands on his shoulders. Hakyeon has both hands on Taekwoon’s chest, he can’t let him, can’t let him die again. Taekwoon whispers into his hair an endless string of I’m sorry,  I’m so sorry… I need to do it. Hakyeon is choking again, holding back a sob. He's scared, it can’t happen again… Not now… They were so happy together, all of them… Why? “I love you. Don't go…”

“I’m sorry…I have no choice.” Hakyeon feels the sobs coming even before Taekwoon’s arms tighten around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for taking so long n(_ _)n  
> I'm sick and busy and there are things keeping me from posting sorry sorry readers.  
> But here is it, hopefully you enjoyed.


	22. Chapter 22

Hakyeon is busy sulking. He has been touching this same spot on the curtains for quite some time now.

Taekwoon on the other hand finishes to fetch the remaining items from the list in a backpack he found in the wardrobe. “Why must you keep shielding us from our wrongdoings?”

Taekwoon seems to ponder for a few seconds, if his hands are any indication. He stills for a brief moment before resuming his task.

Burning papers in this case.

“Someone has to, Hakyeon-ah.” He muses, more to himself than to Hakyeon. In his head it sounds reasonable.  “We have to go.”

Hakyeon is up and standing in front of him in no time. Arms crossed and trying to look more angry than he is sad. That's a lot of anger and he fails but even so Taekwoon stops so… It's not a complete failure. “So this is it? I'm gonna sit down and wait for them to take you _again_ as I peacefully watch?”

Taekwoon sighs. Gaze falling to the floor. “You know I'm not good with goodbyes… I-” silence as the words try to make themselves into sentences inside Tarkwoon’s head. “I'm doing all this so none of you has to. Can't you be grateful for my effort and accept my intentions?”

Hakyeon deflates almost immediately. There is something for him to think.

_Effort._

True to Tarkwoon's words, he never felt grateful for the risks he took for them. And it's not like Hakyeon is offering himself to go in his place.

Stage two is _shame._

They look at each other like this. With their eyes filled with sorrow and their minds full of thoughts. _Still_ Hakyeon doesn't wants him to go and throw himself into danger so they can live happily as if nothing happened.

Taekwoon happened. He happened more than once and Hakyeon cannot forget.

“So at least say your goodbyes the right way. I don't think I can be there when they come to take you.” His hands fall uselessly beside his body and he looks at Taekwoon with something like regret in his eyes. “I’m a coward, we have to say everything now.”

Taekwoon worries his lower lip between his teeth. “I'm not… Really good with words.” He mutters a little shyly. He never got time to work his courage to say things. Things about feelings… but. .. He can't do it if Hakyeon is there, staring and waiting for answers. He is far too afraid of disappointing.

Words lack... and he didn't even mastered them to begin with.

“Then show me.” Hakyeon looks so serious when he says this. So serious Taekwoon is almost afraid of not being able to meet the expectations. He does not work well with expectations.

But he is no coward. He need only this fifteen seconds of stupid courage to do what it's needed. He can survive this. “Give me your wrist.” he breathes in and then out. Hakyeon frowns. “Well I was waiting for something different.” He extends his wrist anyway because well… what to do?

Taekwoon looks for the small pointing in his index finger, close to his nails, and presses. A panel comes loose and he pulls the tip of his finger off like a pen’s cap.

A pen drive… of some sort.

This is so primitive.

Taekwoon connects his finger to the panel on Hakyeon's wrist. And flashes of memories bleed in a fast paced stream of recollection. Every image provided from several angles.

 

Little Wonshik running around Granny's old house, a kid no older than five.

Granny much younger. Her son sitting by the living room, his wife by his side, watching as little Wonshik plays with a cat Hakyeon never saw.

Baby Wonshik says he prefers puppies.

 

Granny knitting a scarf alone at home, when a knock on the takes her attention, the cat is no longer there. In fact, no one is, she looks and Hakyeon feels like she is looking directly at him. She smiles and comments she is getting old.

Her daughter comes inside with a box, there's a new kitten inside it. They hug. She tells Granny she will move out of town with her husband and start a family of her own.

Granny smiles, touches her cheek, wishes her the best.

 

Wonshik sitting by the window with a piece of pie in his hands saying he wants to work with robots once he graduates highschool.

Granny comes from the kitchen, tells him she expects him to create great things, help people.

Wonshik smiles, he swears he will.

 

_Taekwoon's… memories?_

 

They change the couch, Granny says she misses the old one. Her daughter calls after a month of silence, says she is having a baby and will come by in a few weeks.

Granny smiles, she doesn't mind the couch any longer.

 

Wonshik is leaving the country, he will work with the Central now, he finally got the job he wanted, he will be a creator.

Granny is crying but there's a huge smile on her face, she looks so proud. She tells him to come visit and Wonshik promises he will.

 

Granny received a huge box, her daughter said it would help her, after all she is older now, and there's no one near her anymore.

They bought her a domestic droid, and she struggles with the box for a bit.

She names the droid Hakyeon. Says they are family now.

 

The memories keep flooding Hakyeon's eyes and he feels himself shaking, he looks at Taekwoon meaningfully but his voice is gone. Taekwoon only smiles kindly at him, touches the side of his face softly.

“This family is the only life I ever had. I can't bear to see you suffer, any of you… You won't ever understand how much I care for all of you… Just how far I would go to keep you safe.” Hakyeon sobs, no tears come because he has none, but his hands come to cup Taekwoon's jaw. “You have all my memories in there. Look at it when you get lonely, or doubt just how much I love all of you.”

Hakyeon's lips tremble, he chokes on the air he does not use, and he kisses Taekwoon just once. _Pained._ “Come back to me… _please, please_ come back.”

“I will try to.” His voice is soft, the best consolation he can offer now. And Hakyeon feels like crying as every single memory is thrown into his drive, passing behind his eyes like a life he never lived. “But for now, we need to go.”

 

~×~

 

Sanghyuk is irritable.

He is working on Taekwoon’s systems for a few hours already, and to further facilitate his life, Taekwoon is by all means on what one could call “ _sleeping_ ” mode. He shots a few angry glares at Wonshik as he gives his _unwanted opinion_ about whatever task Sanghyuk busies himself with at the moment.

Eventually Wonshik leaves the room to avoid saying anymore and Sanghyuk keeps muttering things under his breath. “Cops are gonna take him and y’all hold your shit ok? We don’t want anyone being taken under custody for violent behaviour.” The words are meant to be for everyone but Sanghyuk looks exclusively at Hakyeon as he speaks. “Alright? No freaking outs.”

Hakyeon would probably be offended if he wasn’t just so mentally drained. So he gets up and leaves the room, to sit by the garden and poke around the files of memory contained in his drive. A few files have no images at all, only codes and pieces of Taekwoon’s own internal registrations. Little reminders of data for himself.  

 

_Day 59 since the last update;_

_Hakyeon asked me to stay with him until he finishes cleaning once again, must consider the possibility of lightening the amount of work that has to be done._

_Actions must be taken with certain care, he seems to get agitated if his workload is reduced too much._

 

Hakyeon smiles to himself, looking at the floor where tiny yellow flowers insist to bloom between the cracks.

Taekwoon does too much for them. And he insists on being a little pest and making things harder for him… But all he does, all the anger… Is because of how afraid he is of losing Taekwoon a second time.

If he could give up his physical body and become immaterial with him, he would. Become a sentient software like Hongbin is, illegal by all the rules they live by, but also freer than he will ever be in this reality.

Always running from something.

Information keeps running behind his eyes, that until his mind comes across this piece of information.

Because apparently, Taekwoon kept cataloging things after he received his body too, now with words and not numeric codes.

_Day 53 since reactivation;_

_Today the creator deemed my current state of functioning as satisfactory enough for me to go outside and test my systems by myself. I can’t tell the silence inside my head is not disturbing, and I do feel… silly for keeping track of my daily activities when there is no one to report to but it helps avoiding overload, so I will from now on consider this as… A personal diary of my personal progress._

_The enormous amount of complexity I deal with now makes it hard to form phases and express feeling when I can’t even completely associate a name to  the emotions I experiment all the time. I must be careful as to not overheat._

He hears voices inside, Taekwoon probably woke up, but Hakyeon doesn’t think he can handle looking at him now without being an ungrateful little shit, so he keeps quiet.

Keeps quiet when Taekwoon asks for him and when Sanghyuk says he went out so he doesn’t know.

Keeps quiet when Granny sighs sadly and through the silence that follows.

He hates silence.

But he hates the idea of seeing his family crumbling apart even more.

From the garden he wonders how much more time until the sirens start echoing and announcing the arrival of Special Operations Security.

The ones that only come when the HPP is violated.

According to Wonshik, whom never wanted to have any contact with the S.O, The Central uses the same kind of droid they used at war, only a little more well behaved.

The only kind of droid allowed to use violence of any kind. Also the ones who less resemble humans.

Sanghyuk said they have camera lenses instead of eyes, that they have no skin and their mouths don’t move when they speak.

That they are painted in the colors of the Central, in silver and blue…And that they blow off steam from their necks for they are fueled by flammable liquids flowing inside their arms, weapons and knives under a thin layer of painted metal.

Sanghyuk says he is immensely afraid of them, for he already _saw_ what they do to those who resist prison.

They will take Taekwoon.

His heart shakes.

The sirens start ringing.

Hakyeon lowers his head, cries as quietly as he can, and the sound of marching steps approaches the house...

He steels his heart for what it is to come, and from inside the house he hears as Sanghyuk tells Taekwoon the words he will need the most.

_Good luck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO'S BACK  
> Hello friends I'm back with more robot pain for I FINALLY FOUND MY INSPIRATION  
> I apologize for taking so long, I never meant to make you all wait this much.  
> Any you I hope you like the new chapter.


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